Reddit Haikus

It wasn't that bad.
     It's just a corpse. It's sad, but
not horrifying.

My time to shine! No.
     Because a straight mans asshole
is to tight. Wear gloves?

YOU MUST PEE AFTER
     SEX. What's the name of the song
in the video?

Yeah, his twin sister.
     Multiple times. And no, they're
not identical.

I only one punch
     left but he says he's saving
that for my wedding.

Check the house I was
     moving into was actually
going to be warm.

For example, take
     the second point in the OP:
creation science.

Neil Maskell (Arby)
     has a real knack for playing
deranged murderers.

Had it for a month
     now and it's definitely
due for a wipe off.

You know what you want
     to do with your life, so you're
off to a good start.

The features they put
     in must make sense, and must add
to experience.

Awesome. However,
     it also spits out broken
people when unchecked.

Fuck the Daily Mail.
     Never use that piece of shit
site ever again.

that made me laugh way
     more than it should have not sure,
is that the first track?

If Linux had more
     users, this would be practiced
there more. Decently.

[deleted] I think
     you'll fit in nicely here New
is always better.

Things taste bad without
     salt precisely because you've
been using too much.

I can teach my kid
     to read and write, but I can't
teach him "how to math".

When the next day (or
     hour) comes make the decision
not to drink again.

My local reference
     points the new list and only
my local reference.

ACA addresses
     health *insurance*, not health *care*.
They're two different things.

Thankfully my leave
     adds up quickly and I can
carry it over.

You feel a nice warm
     afterglow of the laughter
and the fun you had.

I didn't think i'd like
     that, but i could just listen
to her talk all day.

I dunno, I can
     think of much better causes
to raise money for.

I mouse over say
     Extensive Alkahest Box.
What am I getting?

As long as I am
     doing this on my spare time
I want to have fun.

We've seen this with drugs,
     we've seen this with alcohol,
we've seen this with sex.

So hot. I actually
     started a course yesterday!
Thanks for the input.

Is this the real life?
     My world has been shattered by
the Pope resigning.

Rate of uninsured
     young people has already
began decreasing.

I also haven't
     followed closely what happened
in the USA.

"oh my god, her mom
     is totally in the trunk.
This show is MESSED UP."

Do some call for fire
     on a big video game.
Play in some Bradleys.

However, I hold
     my reservations and will
wait for the reviews.

its COUNTER logic
     gaming I slept through the day.
Woke up to this thread.

How many children
     would a priest rape if he could
rape any children?

Then after he is
     done with the transaction start
to leave but go back.

True, but to assume
     that all fear feeding vampires
are house Minerva?

If they want to check,
     counsel and delegate, guess
what, they can do that.

[deleted] well played,
     sir [deleted] Ok cool,
enough with these posts.

Check out the His Dark
     Materials trilogy
by Philip Pullman.

But I sincerely
     hope, that you, and others, could
benefit from this.

I do assume she's
     telling the truth, but I don't
know the whole story.

I actually met him
     through his sister and then stopped
being friends with her.

Tight soft things around
     my parts look and feel really
nice, so I wear them.

I buy a "killer"
     from behind the bakery
now and then, great joints.

you can play any
     printing of a card that is
legal in standard.

Happened to me too.
     Hence, the quotations around
"hold the door open."

I can't imagine
     being in that position.
[deleted] ?shake well?

Some of the things will
     take some getting used to, but
that is expected.

You can own more than
     one pharmacy, but you can
only work in one.

That would have put me
     playing Vice City around
eleven or twelve.

at least your name is
     relevant Slept with my best
friends older sister.

corrosive plasma
     caster is my absolute
favorite thing ever.

More like a badger.
     perhaps blocked in your country,
still up for me What?

BEER! [deleted] wait
     you majored in accounting
and couldn't find work?

Foiling each others
     efforts to such an extent
time and time again.

Other North Koreans'
     meal pictures would not take up
much space at all, though.

Why couldn't I stop
     laughing at this part I should
get two grips one day.

Seems to be working.
     Thing is, it works. People are
talking about it.

When it comes to food,
     I'm too shy to ask even
tho I'd be starving.

Never before did
     I question his race, I just
assumed he was black.

(assuming it is
     going to be active) You
misunderstand me.

Can't be beefy if
     your max is wearing high heels.
Let me clarify...

Same here. My brother
     basically handed me off
to him, it was weird.

I know its the guy
     from Jurassic park but... Why?
You are so pretty.

If he finished him,
     he would have to start his search
all over again.

They certainly are
     NOT free market. Jumped on it,
had a bad landing.

Your hair works. The thing
     you'd need to work on the most
is your complexion.

But you are talking
     about your power to take
away my freedom.

Those are tanks. I am
     looking for a Honda though,
just for gas mileage.

you put a second
     engine in WHEN ONE ENGINE
CANNOT DO THE JOB.

Nothing much to it,
     but she complained about how
long her walk home was.

Looks like I'm going
     to start eating more healthy
:s Wool dryer balls?

I've got a lion
     in my pocket and baby
he's ready to roar.

They're in the same vein,
     but submissions have fallen
off in recent years.

Stuff like all email
     and cellphone conversations
being monitored.

Yeah, you had some lean
     years in the 2000s, but every
franchise has lean years.

This liner is just
     the right amount of darkness.
I also love that.

Mind if I ask what
     kind of oxfords you're wearing
and where you got them?

I've been trying to catch
     up on a bunch of artists
I've never heard of.

Very cool; Nice find.
     I wonder how many car
accidents this caused.

A minute later,
     one more, then another one,
then another one.

The only way they'll
     get mine is if they cut those
motherfuckers off.

Flowers bloom and die.
     Wind brings butterflies to snow.
A stone won't notice.

I thought it was you
     because I bought one for you
off your list last week!

WITCH! whats great is how
     many preteen kids you see
wearing stuff like this.

The idea is
     that you remember what you
saw most recently.

With the right tires
     and suspension, that thing would
be in the low 8's.

When something breaks on
     my bike, it paralyzes
my entire day.

Send me a pm
     if someone hasn't taken
care of you by then.

No, its claims are not
     very specific, which is
very much my gripe.

I think it had some
     kind of city building thing
in it or something.

Governments have been
     trying to exterminate them
for hundreds of years.

He has played fine BUT,
     he did let in an easy
goal between his legs.

But even with all
     the help and support why do
I still feel this way?

As for you, your t
     step still needs work and your spins
are kinda jerky.

Unfortunately
     that speaks more about the man
than anything else.

Had a creepy vibe
     that's a mix between The Thing
and Aliens stuff.

As an atheist,
     I'm supposed to be upset
that people can talk?

No way? I can just
     go with no experience
and just chill with dogs?

Overall it's been
     really solid, I don't think
I've had a crash since.

Going back to school
     sucks so make sure its really
what you want to do.

Keep at it man, I'm
     sure a lot of people would
love something like that.

Give hints toward a new
     storyline and slowly lead
everybody in.

Either myself or
     my wife was always with him
in the hospital.

Hearing damage can
     occur in a very short
period of time.

Even if it was
     for only a day, neither
is the best option.

can't say anything
     on the rest of graph, probably
smart to question it.

Close one eye, you see
     the blue notes, close the other
and you see the red.

Purchasing your first
     house in the south is silly,
it's expensive here.

No questions, really,
     I'm way too late to this thread
but wow. I love you.

It sounds like guitar
     practice with an emphasis
on tempo changes.

in Electrical
     Engineering, and don't know
squat about circuits.

One of my favorite.
     Enough with Identity
Crisis already.

Research on what feels
     best means nothing because each
woman is different.

[deleted] IF YOU
     DIDN'T CALL HIM AMERICA
THEN YOU DID IT WRONG.

Yay! I'm glad to see
     other people in a boat
similar to mine.

I appreciate
     all the teens here and very
early 20's people.

Will not be happy
     if it's story line content
that adds to the plot.

Discounting it just
     because it's not the same is
pretty stupid though.

That's how chicks are man.
     I was talking to this one
chick that I worked with.

One friend was going
     to play Gillette but backed out
at the last minute.

I play dom almost
     exclusively but it just
hasn't happened yet.

Well thank you! It has
     not been fun being the cheap
bastard of the group.

said no one, ever.
     Because I'm always better
than my opponent.

Awesome idea.
     Thanks, this was exactly what
I was looking for.

[deleted] Are you
     happy enough to put up
with it or aren't you?

It was a reference
     [deleted] You already
have the interview.

That God damn plywood!!!
     Nice pic though. Glad you enjoyed
our little city!

What do I do now?
     Do I pay you? [deleted]
Enlightened as balls.

You are very right.
     Was the group actually spouting
hateful rhetoric?

Finely ground bud will
     get you where you need to be
compared to butter.

SHUT UP, COUCH, YOU'RE DRUNK
     I like them both, but it all
depends on *your* mood.

Same here. I'd never
     burden my friends with it if
I have a bad day.

And after doing
     pretty much the same thing since
the first game, I'm bored.

Because once you reach
     diamond you can't go back down
again by losing.

Amateur. If you
     click on the names you can see
the comment history.

although you're probably
     right this is the wrong advice
for a new player.

That's enough for me
     to take it over hex shield.
Depends what you like.

But American
     Gods in particular was
just so engrossing.

Most of the pension
     funds invest in bond markets
world over Go Colts!

It stands as the worst
     time of my life and will not
likely be dethroned.

There was a stripper
     on the set of Survivor..
That's what i was told.

So it was supposed
     to be today the 28th.
Whoa Hell, I dunno.

Honestly? Sounds like
     she needs to talk to someone
professionally man.

The reasoning was
     quite sensible though (even
if I didn't agree).

Do they actually dress
     themselves every morning or
do they have someone?

I guess I'm just trying
     to figure out whats going
on here exactly.

I saw that, but still
     wasn't sure precisely what
kind of jokes they were.

Prison Style: Cut three
     or four slices of summer
sausage in to cubes.

Please let me know if
     you want me to send something
else in the meantime.

Not to be THAT guy,
     but a house doesn't get robbed.
It gets burglarized.

You've defined yourself
     as something separate, which is
what an ego is.

later my son comes
     screaming in our bedroom "Jake
got hit by a car".

You defeat extra
     stage (with the exceptional
boss themes). You rejoice.

Need I add I was
     less than popular that day.
Thank you everyone!

Well they stopped using
     ROM manager, so maybe
he felt left out now.

I bet his death was
     due to a severe beating
that happened later.

Solving a cube is
     not overly difficult
if you train yourself.

I'm confident you
     could produce a five minute
speech on this topic.

We have to hate them.
     It's our duty to hate them,
but we still need them.

Considering you
     tend to have porn in your mouth,
that's saying something.

Yeah or some one tries
     to tell you a story but
butcher the details.

I have heard of RO2
     as well. Is it really good?
[deleted] Sorry...

It went from a one
     off incident to a full
blown anxiety.

They most likely are
     surrounded by people who
don't fill them with doubt.

Any dead teeth or
     infections can wreak havoc
with your sinuses.

I did the exact
     same thing, and I don't even
know French. Exactly.

You have probably seen
     the above comment- but just
in case... [Listen now?

Man 1:You spent the rent
     on filipino hookers?!
Man 2:You're a hooker!

You just need to be
     yourself when you meet women
and be confident.

And you also need
     to offer them Chinese food
like you did for me.

Oh man, the worst was
     getting an entire six
piece with all dark meat.

She casually said
     "I always wanted to take
pictures for someone.

At this moment there's
     nothing I want to do more
than hold my baby.

It amazed me how
     many more were just like her,
and some that were worse.

Well there was this time
     when I was a pirate on
the Caribbean...

If it was meth lab,
     toxins would be in the walls,
duct work, everywhere.

It is just preference
     and experience from both
ends of the spectrum.

[deleted] There used
     to be a wide open field
in my neighborhood.

McHale is probably
     going to pull Lin soon now
that there's ball movement.

Well what better way
     to keep myself from coming
back to the server.

Not sure what this post
     has to do with it though, but
hey I support ya!

I don't generally
     say this lightly, but are you
fucking retarded?

Also was supposed
     to be like a four hour class
and was more like one.

It probably died from
     being electrocuted
on a power pole.

They both still play shows,
     I'm pretty sure. Bad blood or
have they just moved on?

anyone else think
     this Honda commercial is
kinda creepy? "You.

Have you tried learning
     Chinese or Russian? No small
feat I assure you.

He hits good but don't
     expect him to get many
picks or force fumbles.

Things don't *have* to get
     serious for you to not
be wasting your time.

It confuses me
     because left and right are switched
but up and down aren't.

[I would like to ask
     if you are going to make
another film soon.

farmers can sell these
     contracts to other farmers
whenever they want.

I kind of just want
     the rifle and good optics,
maybe a new stock.

she broke the axle
     on YOUR TRUCK and your worried
about he feelings?

He comes out. He has
     been having a great time since.
Wow! LISP in BASIC!

When it comes to who
     you are at your core, you just
have to be yourself.

Love people that do
     this, too bad I'm always late
for them lol.