Reddit Haikus

F weather. I punched
     the dashboard because I thought
the gas gauge got stuck.

I never realized
     I could have a fucking ant
eater as a pet!!

Every time someone
     bursts out in tears, everyone
has to take a shot.

Muscles in my neck
     seem to turn to jello when
I get that nervous.

I'm not planning on
     selling it, it's just a nice
memento to have.

As I said, a lot
     more goes into teaching than
handing down knowledge.

Last god damn level.
     Fuck you, Bullfrog. Just kidding.
I miss you, Bullfrog.

you get practice runs,
     but you only get one shot
when the testing starts.

You will be surprised
     how many are in the red
even in 'good' years.

I was wondering
     why she jumped and why the guy
was walking like that.

Both of these games, once
     you hit max level will not
hold your attention.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

You basically said
     if a girl cheats on a boy,
he is a loser.

Health care workers aren't
     like who you find in every
day life with this stuff.

Also could give you
     keys that you can sell for pure.
That's a happy pig.

I am shipping those
     two so hard right now. Why? Why?
Why did I watch that????

Just wait until you
     are ready to buy before
you get pre approved.

dat menu them doe
     If you Think your skin is dry
Drink more water too.

Drive yourself around
     on the street and have fun? Good.
Tracking it? Not good.

What did you under
     volt yours to and what did you
use to under volt?

Jesus was buried
     in a cave, and a stone was
rolled in front of it.

Dog Fashion Disco.
     Not the same big band sound but
similar weirdness.

Evolution worked
     significantly better
so I've stuck with it.

It's a subtle ad!
     The OP is a money whore!
BURN HIM AT THE STAKE!!!

He will drag you down
     to his level and beat you
with experience.

I can't go around
     believing everything on
the fucking tv.

Don't explain why or
     anything, I'll just assume
you have a headache.

Are there issues? Sure.
     Does that mean we scrap the whole
thing because of them?

It's like a stranger
     broke into the house and climbed
into bed with me.

and now, in my mind,
     there is one less little girl
dying of cancer.

Ever. [deleted]
     Yea but the mercury is
made of arsenic.

Either the port on
     your phone or laptop are loose.
A driver won't help.

Side note, I don't care,
     LOL. how long ago
did you buy your kit?

You get to go through
     the park and then continue
into Agua Dulce.

I find I can put
     on my 'cop persona', like
wearing a costume.

Shit I would have been
     happy with an oz or three.
She hooked you up! thanks!

Agree with your point
     how it put a human face
on the costs of war.

Poor America...
     Is that a fake teeth cover
strapped onto his face?

The fans should also
     be cleaned as well, if there is
any dust on them.

If he opens up
     to you about it, feel free
to reciprocate.

Any passion, yes
     even horses, is something
that is part of you.

I really don't think
     anyone considers how
dangerous they are.

Sorry! does it poop
     every time you pick it up?
I hear that happens...

I guess it really
     is better to win bronze than
to lose for silver.

Just give them the facts,
     tell how it has affected
you, etc.

Think of it this way.
     You've made this much progress just
over a few months.

literally just ran
     around the same route over
and over again.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

I would ask that you
     remove identifying
information please.

So it looks like all
     the puppeteers are the same
sex as their puppets.

First off you cannot
     punish this kids for having
horrible parents.

not a single one
     for over nine months, and will
NOT be looking back.

The title clearly
     says "I am racist" and not
"the joke is racist".

But they don't, and want
     to chase that money until
something threatens that.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

Nope, there's the web based
     one but it doesn't support
all the plex features.

Even when things look
     good on paper, a rescue
can still be sketchy.

I can't go around
     believing everything on
the fucking tv.

I think the show has
     what gay men love, or love but
not admit to love.

[deleted] Really?
     Interesting. This certainly
changes things. Diamonds.

I don't see why you'd
     have a problem with shoes like
Converse. No problem!

Also you might want
     to check some of the reviews
on that printer first.

So there's that. Worst case.
     You forgot to bring your gun?
Stupid nigger Hah?

Jesus Christ. So much
     talking coming directly
from human like butts.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

[deleted] I think
     he means vanilla How much
and how many miles.

I've probably done worse,
     but that's the first really bad
one to come to mind.

What matters then is
     not whether it occurs, but
***why***. *Context* matters.

Ill try it and will
     hope for the best His mom made
the account for him.

Its better to test
     with the evil you know than
the evil you don't.

She came across well
     I thought. I'm looking forward
to seeing her grow.

This is why I find
     particular pleasure when
I pirate their stuff.

It was extremely
     disappointing that Miller
only played one game.

God forbid we be
     concerned with pesky things like
actual innocence.

I found the city
     to be very safe and clean
last time I was there.

Honestly, I'm not
     positive why the spicy
is more expensive.

You wouldn't believe
     how many low level techs
believe this nonsense.

Pretty sick. oh hi
     Wow, what an unfortunate,
misleading title.

Was it any good?
     [deleted] Sorry, I meant
only some of it.

[deleted] Sorry,
     I meant only some of it.
It was not that bad.

I'm really intrigued
     by the show, I hope it'll be
worth staying up for!

(Warning, this link is
     not for animal lovers,
also, now I'm sad).

I want so badly
     to comment on your shit but
your holes have my tongue.

It was really great
     how you showed the transition
slowly at the end.

[deleted] It should
     be okay, as it has been
the last few seasons.

As far as cutting
     out all that stuff, if it's too
hard, then don't do it.

But there's better ways
     to deal with shitty neighbors
besides violence.

chilling in home are
     much better than romantic
dates most of the times.

It's been a long time
     since I've played with a support
that *wasn't* toxic.

I pulled put my dick
     and he called me rude, but then
he ate it Ike food.

A one eyed monster
     can be a vagina too.
Why? It was *awesome*.

TIL meth is where all
     the money is at these days
Nope it's still going!

Yes, and what I've just
     described is circumstantial
evidence of guilt.

You claim to be good
     at managing your money,
help me manage mine.

Hopefully we can
     keep up the pace so we be
at least 8th seed.

I'd just have to wait
     there an pat his butt until
he was full. Great game!

His horses are more
     important than the people
he's fucking over.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

Because your question
     was "how much do you tip when
you order to go".

It sounds inclusive.
     As in, "I tip x amount,
how much do you tip".

Also, it's not like
     you're going to be getting
in that spot often.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

No shipping charges
     and you see it in person
before buying it.

Not demanding, just
     went along with whatever
you wanted to do.

Somebody says it.
     Mad Men has a lot of thought
put into costumes.

It's definitely
     embarrassing for the team.
*Laughs softly* Oh. Right.

The phone system sucks,
     the developing world skips
straight to mobile phones.

Fuck I was hoping
     the update would fix my Sim
card issues Agreed.

So many good things
     to be said for a higher
density city.

People who reuse
     the question, but change the names
and numbers slightly.

I met a woman
     at the airport, while we were
sitting at the gate.

Democracy would
     be tremendously helpful
*if it actually worked*.

[deleted] Both trucks
     and cars can do that on I-15
in parts of Utah.

The fault is not all
     theirs, the brass shares most of it.
I agree with this.

How do you explain
     why people get arrested
for domestics then?

Very exciting!
     Anyone with a Rift here
given it a shot?

Yay birthdays. Do you
     spend your days typing your own
name into search fields?

(Literally) After
     that I'll finally have some
time to do that stuff.

My advice move on,
     its very likely she has
commitment issues.

I'm not quite sure why
     so many people voted
for him in the poll.

Sorry that you didn't
     even manage to pull bronze,
better luck next time!

I tip a dollar
     on deliveries, just to not
seem like an asshole.

Raw bones are pretty
     soft and don't splinter the way
that a cooked bone will.

Real world, their pretty
     much the same and for gaming,
no difference at all.

Rather have something
     I can either put flat on
the wall or else frame.

I guess since she was
     unconscious, they HAD to do
that to save her life.

Only way I got
     people to shut up was by
being a dick back.

Good luck! PM How
     can a late stoppage be real
if our eyes aren't real?

Most of them are still
     in the closet and very
discreet about it.

I'm planning to move
     to bigger city again
in a year or two.

I agree but don't
     like the government picking
out what's "good" for me.

Can I ask you why
     you think that the first humans
lived in Africa?

I can't wait for 3D
     printing to be used to make
entire organs.

Go there. I dare you.
     Koh Phagan has two very
distinct ways of life.

Look how beautiful
     those tattoos are on people
I will never hire.

it looks great, and now
     you know what you can improve
next time you do them!

I also don't like
     saying that it requires no
faith in anything.

But anyway, you
     explained the situation
better than I could.

Had did a search on
     here and seen its a lot more
common then I thought.

Am obsessed with NYX
     for eye primers, pore filler
and my setting spray.

The end result is
     achieved through what one would call
evil I suppose.

added why do you
     want to look at how people
number their units?

He said I was nice
     and would send me a snickers
downstairs with a guard.

Shooting up in their
     wake comes a dark fruit leather
and hint of red wine.

i agree, except
     for the part where people are
happy to work there.

I'm adding you now
     and please let me know when you
are ready to trade!

He sat there with rings
     under his eyes processing
what she had just said.

Meanwhile they're wearing
     metallic leather jackets
and heels to high school....

Have a little light
     conversation, and gauge how
much she's into it.

I can probably bet
     some white guys can teach Chinese
better than I could.

Dealing with so much
     stress and I can see that it's
overwhelming me.

I know I should just
     get on with my life and crap,
but it's just so hard.

You won't be living
     comfortably, but you can
still save up a bit.

Nail bed infections
     can spread to the bone and be
really hard to treat.

I have a enzyme
     deficiency which burns through
sugar super fast.

In fact, most people
     that I know who are my age
don't like it either.

When I learned that most
     men only last for a few
minutes I was floored.

Care to explain why?
     This is absolutely what
I am suggesting.

First it we got mean
     looks, then we'd be asked to stay
after the service.

And you could get one
     from a german website too.
Not anymore though.

I do think there needs
     to be some sort of force map
swap mechanism.

I love that Lion
     King steel, one of my favorite
in my collection.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

[deleted] That is
     not the bike to make a long
term project out of.

Maybe an older
     trek or Gary Fisher on
the mountain bike front.

What constitutes late?
     I love watching Ferguson
interview women.

Yeah, I think that is
     just part of developing
your taste in music.

They have their hotel,
     their restaurants, and they know how
to get everywhere.

what in your closet
     is not pink How does that solve
the camping problem?

fight club Higher if
     you taste your samples you'll get
better at brewing.

We need some drama
     tonight at the press conference
with Uncle Dana.

Is the sustain good
     on it compared to other
guitars you may own?

i've never gotten
     off on having someone lick
my arm. What he said!

What!!?? I'm a woman.
     I can't just "focus on not
bleeding as often".

That. Please. God Baseball
     player build, so basically
specialty muscle.

Mentally challenged
     is not a get out of jail
free card Its so nice.

Before we broke up,
     my ex used a clean empty
beer bottle in me.

I bet, I've always
     wanted to go to a huge
aquarium though.

and then just claim on
     schedule A the same amount
in gambling losses.

At one point in time,
     both of you apparently
wanted each other.

My younger brother
     is in school, and he's having
the time of his life.

*nudges in ribs* You
     are asking basic questions.
You need to advance.

like others have said,
     if she isn't into it,
move on. no harm done.

I don't think its him
     either, he is probably still
laughing his ass off.

This is even more
     true if it both condoms are
from the same package.

All this does is make
     the cop look like a little
bitch Fantastic No.

Agreed. I just want
     to see how they actually look.
God, he was so bad.

Even though we should
     have just gone through the fucking
rock tunnel... For sure.

[deleted] the girl
     should be the tape Such a great
time they're having, huh?

Oh god that was me,
     im far too drunk for this You
know what, you're correct.

Can't fault Rory here.
     But can he see why kids love
cinnamon toast crunch?

Source: I watched a friend
     call her phone company pull
this stunt, and it worked.

Feel free to PM
     if you're interested in what
I do personally.

Maybe it is just
     unique to me but it is
my all time favorite.

You already know
     the most important question
"Is she into me?"

I will probably do
     that for experience, but
not as a career.

I would wear a pink
     dress to work if I could just
have my damn beard back.

Making assumptions
     about them still isn't cool.
Thanks for your comment.

Accept the change- don't
     be the old guy complaining
that women can vote.

There goes gravity!
     Added, please add back. Thank you!
Man, what a series.