Reddit Haikus

I couldn't even
     register my card, and their
site is still a mess.

You have the power
     to do this and it's time you
start believing it.

When I got my first
     job, at Subway Demers, you
fucking idiot.

I'm probably younger
     than you, so statistically
you'll die first. Give up.

It doesn't happen
     that often, that's why it's such
big news when it does.

In an earthquake, you're
     much better off with a wood
house than a brick house.

Thank alot! You are
     expecting humans to act
against their nature.

You could ring other
     people on the line without
paying for a call.

But I do think it's
     probably your best bet for what
you are looking for.

Damn right. Kids or not,
     I try to avoid dirty
tables anyway.

I definitely
     stand behind all the stuff from
the second part, though!

aka, Chrysler makes
     POS automobiles. I can
vouch for this myself.

I think it is just
     better to have the gun on
the outside my pants.

No one should ever
     have to be hurt that bad by
the person they love.

Mine did the same but
     just the leg, I went into
work with chewed trousers.

Calms me down, requires
     hand eye coordination,
and I enjoy it.

Overnight, he stuffs
     the Indian into his
cupboard and locks it.

Australian here, is
     this some kind of common thing
in America?

It sucked, but I felt
     like she needed them more than
I did anyway.

I can't hear your tone
     through text, which is why I said
"Is that sarcastic".

Had it since I got
     my phone in march, dropped several
times, still looks perfect.

So, it's really all
     relative to what you want
and where you want it.

I didn't realize how
     much I wanted this until
I read your comment.

Based on what you said,
     you might want to try looking
into Dishonored.

Keep Calm and Carry
     On? This is what I wanted
from Daft Punk. Thank you.

In my opinion,
     the "Camel Toe Merlot" can
never be too rich.

At least, in theory.
     Enforcement obviously
varies quite a bit.

[deleted] Before
     I read the comments I was
going to post this.

It's got such a weird
     angle and there aren't any
settings to change it.

It can still hear you...
     What about when they ran him
over with a car?

They could try peg it,
     but natural market forces
will overcome that.

The fact that the car
     has a Utah license plate?
It's available.

No doubt the plastic
     bushings would introduce new
problems down the line.

Babies learn language
     and motor skills like walking
through imitation.

did you ever stop
     to think that maybe they just
ordered less of those?

Instead of being
     in some eternal rat race,
we're all just human.

It was for a new
     eye so he actually came out
on top with this one.

That's what we call them
     in Middle America.
What should I call them?

It seems so simple,
     holding hands, but it makes you
feel so much more safe.

ZEKE makes things kinda
     easy, and the custom tanks
destroy everything.

If your "property
     right" isn't given by man,
where does it come from?

The rich ones? There are
     some really bad ones here but
I never saw Holt.

Enforcing the rules
     and teaching the kids to keep
with deals and contracts?

This poster does it's
     job by making me not want
to watch the trailer.

The best strategy
     is to join the rest of us
in Champions League.

Engels was a great
     thinker and this text puts much
into perspective.

Guys like you turn me
     into an old Russian man
trying to get a bride.

It moves the cursor
     ten spaces in whichever
direction you press.

No. They could have no
     memory of a game played
before they were born.

If you were to write
     any type of book, what do
you think it would be?

Then, you walk. That's right.
     I know, it sounds painful but
you get use to it.

They are also more
     prone to arthritis and joint
issues due to size.

Because I know you
     don't eat meat, I know what you
are limited to.

*I stand and ensure
     that the fire took, satisfied
I turn to Dustin.

FUCK. as an eagle
     scout with three palms, I can speak
for most of Georgia.

if baden Powell,
     the founder of boy scouts, was
here, what would he say?

he struggled to be
     the captain, but that's different
from struggling to play.

This is actually not
     far off from how you actually
want to approach this.

Not to mention they'll
     beat everything on the road
for high MPG.

Thank you. I forgot
     I gag when I smell cat food
and cat food and poop.

It's been through several
     hard rains and snows and I don't
see any real wear.

Shouldn't it be "su"
     amigo because tu is
you and su is your.

However, I don't
     know that they deserve a bunch
more they are getting.

This is what I do
     when I have patches missing
from my eyelashes.

I'm right there with you.
     Nothing in life is perfect,
and rarely ideal.

But damn if it didn't
     help me get sober and learn
how to stay sober.

You won't regret it!
     The capped is great for using
as a pocket pen.

EDIT: I'd also
     watch The Deer Hunter before
Apocalypse Now.

Why is everyone
     having bullets fly into
their living spaces?

They are, by any
     and all definitions, sick.
I am disabled.

i will be looking
     this guy up and buying him
groceries for a week.

If anyone wants
     to PM me your Steam ID,
I'll send it your way!

It's terror. As much
     as I want to link it, it's
pretty horrific.

I adore her. Yes,
     we've had one dire wolf, but what
about second wolf?

I'll need a min or
     two to check my settings, but
for the most part, ya.

[deleted] I'd like
     to help, but let me make sure
I have this straight first...

Every. Single. Book.
     Every dialogue. It felt
flat, it didn't feel real.

Around here the jobs
     that aren't fast food or retail
have all increased hours.

I don't like the heat.
     I don't like how everything
here sticks, stabs, and stings.

And an effective
     method of hiding it is
in a sandwich bag.

[deleted] Always.
     Do you do others? I'd love
to have mine painted!

It came out last month
     I believe. [deleted] Last
Watch by Stan Rogers.

Those were just added
     to the game, compared to those,
this is very mild.

Clearly Moffat was
     looking to lay groundwork towards
Doc Hurt by that point.

You'd be surprised how
     safe it actually is when you
know what you're doing.

I would like to find
     out what and see if we can
get you back on track.

And the brake pads had
     to be replaced CONSTANTLY.
Witty commenting.

I'll say it again.
     I'm not saying Lewis or
Michael is faster.

It looks a little
     weird but it could be cool when
finished and touched up.

[deleted] Looks like
     the base for a sundial or
garden ornament.

You really should stay
     away from Ohio. Source:
I'm from Ohio.

To me, my sis has
     nothing to complain about.
To her, she has tons.

I bet you're the same.
     I feel really bad that you
are feeling this way.

A lot of bands play
     here because it's a short trip
from Los Angeles.

Understanding what?
     The science of refractive
lenses and optics?

I like water when
     you're in a bowl of asphalt
baking in the sun.

Why would so many
     people believe the earth is
flat, if it isn't?

No need for down votes.
     You lost your virginity
to his girlfriend too?

Let me know if there's
     anything else you'd ever
like to talk about!

The next span over
     the river appears to be
bearing properly.

16oz. The sensation
     that tasks of daily living
are possible. 24oz.

Hope that I won't spend
     the next day in agony
beyond conception.

Practice standing up.
     Remember that everyone
wants you to succeed.

When the cement dries
     all around that wood post, its
not coming back out.

Drowned Catacombs are
     pretty low right now to help
with mana fixing.

In space. No human
     has died in outer space, I'd
like to be the first.

Not sure if the ones
     that are built in Germany
is better or not.

It would depend on
     the school, and the terms of you
being admitted.

Yes you are. He looks
     like a cartoon character
How is that cliche?

Especially since they've
     already shown they can put
out quality work.

My dogs are convinced
     that the toilet is actually
the Dog Petting Throne..

That's because he has
     no moves and no shooting touch
at all. Sad but true.

Now there is hair on
     the back of my tongue and you
are responsible.

No you didn't actually
     say anything at all you
just posted a link.

Not sure if it is
     alive or is it just nerves
causing it to twitch?

As far as I know
     that has not been cleared up yet.
Really nothing has.

Close ups of only
     skin happen a lot here, though
and they are pointless.

Sometimes we get all
     wrapped up and forget other
people are human.

The real image is
     sick too Like the good old days
Awesome article.

So glad I jumped on
     this one, I knew it'd go
fast but not that fast!!

[deleted] Wow thanks!
     Did you have formal training
in graphic design?

Did you have formal
     training in graphic design?
[deleted] Dammit.

He would not do well
     with a puppy at his age.
Gay girls? What's the point?

I know in my heart
     I'll see him again and we'll
have much to discuss.

Masturbated You
     should get that dyslexia
checked out. Super cool!

The normal practice
     in current English is to use
who in all contexts.

The original
     user who posted this was
Robert OConnor.

People are looking
     forward to E3 because E3
is all about games.

Wasn't told that, or
     anything resembling that.
Yup... Been there... Done that.

I got an email
     about this today as well.
I changed my password.

The last time I played
     Madden, I could run Jackson
up and down the field.

And for fuck sake, Brits
     are fucking pussies letting
this guy carry on.

You should not be made
     to feel bad for confessing
something with the bear.

Whatever you do,
     don't try out a new technique
on your finished piece.

To me it seems like
     most formations work with him.
Interesting theory.

I've never said "wow
     Christians are awful people"
nor will I ever.

I watched this over
     and over again with such
immense, sick pleasure.

God, obviously.
     He just killed a bunch of kids
with a tornado.

It's on my bucket
     list to experience one,
but so far nothing.

Then all of us would
     nod at the same time very
slowly all in sync.

I love Waterhouse,
     thanks for this. switched to finance.
job out of college.

the real question is;
     how autistic do you need
to be to be gay?

Select "Yes" and then
     off you go to sell it or
trade it to a friend.

Don't even get me
     started on melee, that was
so much easier.

Nevertheless, I've
     read the entire archive.
Never got that far.

[deleted] Sleeping
     well is not optional if
you want to succeed.

[deleted] I am
     pretty sure this picture was
taken in Britain.

Immortality
     is available to all
that can afford it.

sit in the corner
     and look alpha or something
You are probably right.

Oh my damn. That was
     still some pretty solid ent
math, friend, so kudos.

I guess I could ask
     the leaders of the cities
first if you want that.

This alone gives me
     hope enough that he isn't
cutting and running.

I *hope* they do." Man,
     I hope they do, too. This guy
deserves a great girl.

Lawrence is really
     discouraging when it comes
to getting a job.

I didn't see any
     on the front page but I didn't
think to check the new.

Got ya. I thought you
     were going to say the first
couple episodes.

I hope you can, tho!
     Edit: this was directed
at OP but headache...

It's supposed to be
     kid friendly but that shit is
fucking confusing.

Well, why the hell not?
     I'm sure you could find somewhere
better than that, man.

You can fire away
     and never worry about
enemies again!

I'm sure you could find
     somewhere better than that, man.
lol REally?

Why shouldn't someone
     who wears a small be able
to find Walmart clothes?

I'm going to some
     sports shops this weekend to see
what I can find. Thanks!

Because I know you
     don't eat meat, I know what you
are limited to.

I am a really
     selfless person and I hate
seeing people hurt.

The beef flavor is
     made out of hydrolyzed wheat
and hydrolyzed milk.

You should start. Is Twitch
     named after the champion
from League of Legends?

[deleted] Hey, it'll
     be okay, is she going
to start chemo soon?

I mean it is damn
     near impossible to not
graduate high school.

Cold calculated
     soulless decision to pass
judgement on this man.

I too know of one
     that looks exactly like her,
but she is a slut.

I remember fast
     forwarding through the 'Have You
Got What You Paid For'.

If the Canucks want
     to go down that route, they'll be
the best candidates.

Your asshole I don't
     care as long as it helps me
lose fat and get ripped.

it's a blast looking
     for the right balance of skills
to keep you alive.

I will probably be
     doing resting state network
analysis too.

We loved each other
     and did not push our beliefs
on one another.

Difference is, Sony
     probably won't bother telling
you a about it.

I feel like this was
     taken in Saratoga,
CA for some reason.

It's art. Like when you
     were a kid you'd stick stickers
all over yourself.

One of the best tips
     I've ever gotten about
hitting partial shots.

Are whips still broken?
     the Adelaide Airport short
term car park has them.

I've been drunk and fucked
     people before, and I've fucked
drunk people before.

If I remember
     correctly this pass was called
forward, is that right?

But now it's become
     pretty common even when
the CLEO would sign.

Child services does
     not have the time or money
to track down fathers.

I finally made
     out what the watermark said
and that confirmed it.

I live in a small
     town in ohio and I'm
perfectly fine here.

This guy needs to be
     taught a lesson, preferably
by authorities.

Really, everyone
     should just leave Old Testament
quoting to the Jews.

[deleted] I think
     your face is turning red from
how hard you are trying.

And you'll always judge
     yourself more than anyone
else- keep that in mind.

It's OVER Junior
     SMILED, science bitches. Thank you
for your submission!

One of the best things
     is to talk to people who
work with the issues.

The rules are posted
     in the side bar. Deal with it.
You ignored my claim.

Masturbate before
     making any major, or
minor, decision.

Sounds like he could just
     be mentioning the time war.
It could be nothing.

I hope you're working
     on this one so you can be
more independent.

[deleted] I didn't
     see Hoyer as a very
significant move.

on the inside all
     you can see is seat covers,
towels, and lots of junk.

Just reuniting
     someone with a past joy is
enough thanks for me.