Reddit Haikus

I understand how
     to go about losing weight.
At least I think do.

[deleted] Which, if
     anything, is like playing
the telephone game.

Practice swap? Job swap?
     I know a few doctors here
who are a bit bored.

Scale 'em down and shift
     em to one of the corners,
and it'll be perfect.

As mentioned before,
     all I had as evidence
was my memories.

If most people are
     driving, it might be wiser
to have more car space.

Oh well, this time next
     year I will be quite a catch!
Mothers, hide your sons...

because potatoes
     and breads are cheap and increase
the profit margin.

But that is just it.
     It feels like a patch that should
have come long ago.

It's the internet.
     The standards are that it's fake
until proven true.

Would you just go out
     with a random girl even
if she was ugly?

After you realized
     he was serious, did you
laugh even harder?

I'll be here all night.
     Just make name reservation
as first come first served.

So what? Why the hell
     shouldn't someone be allowed
to marry a chair?

Surely you didn't think
     Freudian psychology
was *accurate*, right?

[deleted] Penis
     in the vagina is not
quite tangent to curves.

My first, too! HIGH FIVE
     BUDDY! This is how satan
was explained to me.

I'll just read that one,
     and purchase the hard cover
edition later.

What was the new phone?
     A girl who made my life much
more spectacular.

Pakistan has been
     on the verge of collapsing
and they do have nukes.

This is amazing!!
     Satan isn't IN heaven.
He is on this earth.

If you're trying to sleep,
     maybe an herbal tea since
that has no caffeine.

I think my first post
     ever on this account was
about Earthworm Jim.

I would be living
     in the Supernatural
'verse as an angel.

They are dangerous,
     and can only escalate
the situation.

I just smile and ask
     for generic, and they will
give me that instead.

So I casually
     swiped them, figuring I could
put them to good use.

Mandating people
     to do it and relying
on it is foolish.

OK, so that last
     one's not going to happen,
but it could if Prop.

If not your friends or
     your family, then a doctor,
or a therapist.

He dodged a bullet,
     bigtime, so it's time to move
on and enjoy life.

is going to be
     viewed as this generation's
Queen instead of Muse.

[deleted] Yes I'm
     not christian but I'm pretty
familiar with it.

Power leveling? Hah.
     Once you get doffs leveling is
now on easy mode.

In your heart of hearts
     you know that's super fucked up
like beyond measure.

Funniest shit I've
     read all day. Love your stories!
keep it up Are they?

It's my fucking curse!
     I want to take the ears off!
Please! Take them off! Please!

This, however, is
     just heinous. [deleted] Wow...
Why would he do this?

I call and they say
     my information isn't
on the chip, hers is.

It made it sound like
     the scientists were directly
making fuel from CO2.

If yes, then why not?
     The worst thing that can happen
is he will say thanks.

So mainly I am
     affirmative but wondered
what I posted here.

"How bout you let me
     pay for your coffee?" You ask.
"Eh, no big." He says.

If it it catches
     on then great, if not then I'll
be very careful.

I think what you are
     doing makes sense, you can see
the good and the bad.

I would be very
     happy to learn that I am
wrong on that account.

happened to my friend's
     when we didn't fully put out
the roach.. lol.

This is often said
     in the industry, but I'll
say it again now.

These subtle factors
     I think are being missed by
almost all people.

Nor the smooth as silk
     charisma of a Jim Jones.
Ryan was a force.

true, but then again
     someone has to write them too,
which takes much longer.

Sorry to say OP,
     but this has been already
posted many times.

It sucks I think these
     days rates are one large and one
armor for blaser.

I was socially
     awkward as fuck in highschool,
but got laid with ease.

But there is no "God"
     daddy figure, much like there
was no Santa Claus.

I have come to tell
     you some very important
advice for your life.

A few months later
     I found a MAN. One who has
been great to me since.

The jeep model was
     at least highly updated
from what I could see.

Not or it actually
     depends if the mobile is
factory unlocked!

Just as soon as cars
     yield to me when turning right
across the bike lane.

Well played. Fires shotgun
     at enemy, enemy
falls towards him. Can't wait.

USING THIS There are
     some exceptions to the rule,
but generally yes.

I'm sorry. That's got
     to suck so much. Short answer.
Yes. Long answer. Yes.

But you were probably
     referring to the porn? Lame.
But what KIND of cake?

The new plastic one
     I have just makes me bitter
when I look at it.

You don't have to take
     public transportation paid
for with your taxes.

With all this mana
     fixing, fuck it, why not splash
the extra color?

In order to feel
     good, people naturally want
to discriminate.

We're made to die out
     eventually, nothing else
is acceptable.

If you want something,
     nobody else is going
to get it for you.

Picking up that mind
     over matter tape someone
suggested below.

I prob spelled that wrong.
     I ran a couple dirt trails.
They did pretty good.

I ran a couple
     dirt trails. They did pretty good.
I love this bike though.

As far I know there
     are more countries in asia
than anywhere else.

And this is also
     why we need universal
medical coverage.

You shouldn't have had
     to delay this appointment
because of money.

I grew up over
     the hill from you in Santa
Cruz co. (watsonville).

Just relax... *softly
     caresses your cheek* Did you
take him for a spin?

Fucking guy wouldn't
     tell me he had a baby
with his ex girlfriend.

We all go through shit
     that damages us in some
way or another.

[deleted] I'd like
     to erase Minnesota
professional sports.

I'm sure Boberg will
     get better as time goes by,
give this guy a chance!

Athleticism is
     partly talent but mostly
hard work in training.

We got turned around
     while looking for a way back
onto the highway.

Lol that last
     sentence is the most common
sense advice ever.

I wish England could
     find a striker that never
missed a penalty...

Maybe the models
     are being worked on just not
fully completed?

If she had pulled back
     tighter, those two mounds would be
flush against her skin.

OOH! Bare study is
     the color i was thinking
about ordering!

I'm graduating
     with my dual bachelors in ME
and physics this may.

Sweet bar, with love from
     Redbird nation. [deleted]
Instructions unclear.

More confidence than
     anything, but I can't help
but feel left behind.

We confronted her
     about all the shitty things
she had been doing.

How can they forget
     what they did with Titan mode
and Goliath mode?

Why are these skills not
     being effectively taught
in schools ALREADY?

So, unless you are
     willing to ban ALL firearms,
you don't have a case.

[deleted] I'm not
     the OP but I thought it was
good when I had it.

[deleted] Sure How
     did I know somebody was
going to post this?

Bamboo is great if
     you just keep it in a big
pot full of water.

Their enjoyment will
     come from roller coaster rides
whilst smelling roast meats!

The argument is
     about how much the "war on
terror" has cost us.

would definitely
     like to see what someone who
owns says about em.

Don't over do it.
     Madness can and will happen
if you eat too much.

Your average person
     is severely sleep deprived
for most of their life.

I hope this shit is
     over by tomorrow, its
just getting pointless.

my experience
     with ROMs on samsung phones has
just been too buggy.

I love how people
     seem to assume that the guy
actually *did* touch her.

[deleted] He would
     be an A380 I read that like
Berry in Archer.

This. [deleted] There's
     no better than Tv Show
Tracker. Thanks. That helped.

I tend to play flute
     at odd hours and generally
don't sleep or eat much.

again, sweet setup.
     that's exactly what i am
going through right now.

Does anyone else
     think the pink equals signs are
really annoying?

They are told to act
     mindlessly because that's what
people want to see.

Which in a way is
     kinda sad for whoever
created the song...

I graduated
     from Kindergarten, 5th
grade, and 8th grade.

I'm in Chiang Rai
     at the moment and have been
living in Chiang Mai.

More. I don't mean like,
     more *of* Wil, I just want *more
Wil*. Can you do that?

I want Anne to do
     something, if she's up for it,
because she's brilliant.

IMO. I wonder
     if there are folks who only
feel the negative?

So don't make blanket
     statements, the generalize
every gu. Owner.

the pre-1986 tax code had
     higher rates, but it also
had more exemptions.

bringing my partner
     along too, he is better
at this kind of stuff.

Lets just say after
     that I was never allowed
to play 7up again.

Left a mark on me
     for the rest of the weekend.
You are. My hero.

Again, to echo
     the other commenters, I'm
not bashing OP. Yep.

Also I have some
     mildly unpleasant springtime
pollen allergies.

This girl understands
     feminism far better
than Anita does.

I don't think we should
     "force," "legislate," or "persuade"
any school of thought.

I would be really
     disappointed to see his
story arc resolved.

For the longest time,
     "ten years ago" was before
I could remember.

If the current team does
     something special, Halladay
will be passed over.

But hey, that's just me.
     And I sure as hell wouldn't
say no to a ride.

It's a glitch where all
     yields are like pushed to the left
or right by one hex.

Northern Virginia
     is a much smaller place than
many people think.

But ya this guy is
     definitely a cancer.
Wow you guys work fast!

I'm disappointed.
     cool Finally some good news
for Del gun owners!

It looked ugly, but
     he followed your principle.
He became the rain.

The bottom line is,
     there is lots of evidence
for evolution.

And I realize now
     that it was because it looks
like Roger Ebert.

Well, let's be honest,
     we all prefer the version
where we die drowning.

Have some make out time.
     Things start getting more intense.
My hand in her pants.

Take out a loan if
     you have to, it's worth it if
you love the album.

She (the person who
     posted) is not the landlord.
She is a tenant.

Gyroscopic was
     just my first instinct given
the situation.

Please correct me, but
     in that case we should not see
the final plane, no?

You should never run
     no armor on anyone.
Auto attacks hurt.

I think it's designed
     that way as a beginner
and commuter bike.

That game is really
     cool, I shows it to my friends,
and it blew their minds!

Extreme confidence
     on your part does not happen
to equal knowledge.

I like you guy though;
     just don't wanna see you guys
keep hurting yourselves.

Looking back a month
     or so, you can see this is
regular practice.

If Carol hadn't
     gone and got him down he would
have been stuck as Hulk.

There is only pain.
     Take it like a man, or get
crushed even harder.

Cool cool man. Have fun
     with those and thanks for checking.
You have a crowbar.

I weep for this car
     Dirty, dusty, full of mold
"Clean me now!" she screams.

The question is what
     do you want to do with her?
Go to a party?

Thank you. Very sad
     that he ended up getting
cancer anyway.

*grins at you* You should.
     They really are amazing,
special animals.

Your music should sound
     familiar without actually
being familiar.

Tons of great people,
     and yet some old ideas
manage to persist.

I see some horror,
     but I see a lot of life
and happiness too.

I just thought stockings
     had some kind of elastic
fabric at the top.

We don't have any.
     I guess could make some and try
this That's beautiful!

If you continue
     using arrow keys, you won't
even notice shit.

Your grandpa is Charles
     Manson. I'd be interested.
I live near Pueblo.

No sound. All I see
     is Gordon Ramsey talking
and some girl crying.

George of the Jungle
     Oh how i laughed (insert game)
Logic. Oh really?

The Police are not
     taking applications NOW.
They will at some point.

I was at dinner
     with a girl, and the server
only saw my side.

Minimalism
     itself isn't making me
feel any better.

Really? I like it.
     I don't experience much,
if any issues.

-obligatory,
     Tom Cruise Nicholas Cage. I like
chinese food and steak.

OH MY GOD THE FIRST
     ONE MESSED UP SO BAD, NOW HOW
BAD CAN THIS ONE BE?!

I had the exact
     same problem in a 10k where
I tried this as well.

I'm definitely
     calling my unit a "rape
organ" from now on.

I stopped my best friend
     from running away the night
before her wedding.

You were closer than
     I was to your correct band
size in your old bra.

Other roads, though, are
     completely closed and the cops
won't let me bike through.

Nice work! I have no
     idea, but that is one
happy looking pup.

now i want costco
     samples, samples with toothpicks
in them are awesome.

Best team to ever
     deserve 17th place, I think
we can all agree.

I haven't listened
     to any of their other
stuff, it's about time.

He may think the guy
     "got what he deserved", but what
about the poor dog.

They'll catch up to you
     and stay on your ass until
the turbos spool up.

Yes, those are very
     British. Top trying to social
engineer your threads.

Why does someone who
     needs to pay the bedroom tax
need to buy a bed?

What other system
     would they're be where we don't pay
for the things we need?

It did some good but
     still had to enduring some
very rough stretches.

I meant to go but
     never got around to it.
There is no "set point".

No one here can teach
     you how to practice the law,
and no one should try.

But the nice *chinese*
     lady is always very
happy to see me.

The high contrast shows
     this is a mere schematic
drawing of a tree.

They're listed for two
     years, but only considered
in your score for one.

TACOS! [deleted]
     Worth the read: "I Do Not Fear
Death," Roger Ebert.

Can you give me some
     hints as to who you were when
we met on the plane?

Holy shit! I didn't
     even realize that those are
two separate people.

the girl in the back
     is not impressed Just saying...
but its a great post.

Damn i respect him
     [deleted] Yes [deleted]
Is no possible!

Take a look at how
     many US bases there are
surrounding Iran.

If you haven't read
     any of the series yet,
try some Dune novels.

...in the what? This is
     definitely a better
response than Roaches.