Reddit Haikus

[deleted] Crazy
     old hermit in the cabin
minus the old part.

He is a fighter
     and his job is to win fights
and that's all he does.

The worst is when you
     can hear trigger noises when
trying to go to sleep.

Did you hear about
     what that Republican just
said about women?

It's almost tempting
     to say that only 90s kids
will understand this...

Birth Control pills fail
     mostly due to not being
taken properly.

I don't really care
     that I am single and don't
get gifts from a SO.

I honestly am
     starting to think there is no
secret to do this.

Not them. ..and the key
     to truth isn't where you start,
it's where you Don't Stop.

Repeat it as may
     times as you like, it doesn't
get any more true.

[deleted] Pretty
     bad we still have our Christmas
decorations up...

I just discovered
     this place and was perusing
the top posts. My bad!

Because even when
     prices increase wages don't
increase to keep pace.

Once the machine is
     set up, it is trivial
to work on the shirt.

I think it was just
     called something generic like
"Dry Cleaning Outlet".

Then again, I do
     find it better to just by
cream soda and coke.

The first time I got
     to experience taking
off in an airplane.

I never looked him
     up, but I wasn't sure if
he'd still be alive.

In the almost two
     years we've been together he's
asked me to shave twice.

Other than a few
     exceptions it's a grid that's
numbered in order.

I thankfully stopped
     and have found much better ways
to discipline them.

I'd rather people
     hate us for winning then, laugh
at us for losing.

Also notice how
     the buses are underneath
little "maintenance" tents.

Can some one who knows
     more than me clarify this?
Gigabyte is fine.

He didn't dodge. We went
     into the game. He fed hard.
I watched him dying.

I don't tell this joke
     anymore and it always
received mixed reviews.

The only answer
     is JUST BECAUSE the writers
wanted to fix things.

if you look closely,
     it seems as though he get hits
by hurdling shotgun.

I love this cigar.
     It was my birthday cigar
back in November.

yes you are pretty
     fun even when you are clothed.
Very beautiful.

I tend to get bad
     panic attacks when ever
I smoke weed or drink.

All the constant name
     calling is why I can't watch
with others around.

My point is, if you
     shoot cans with your guns then you
shouldn't have a gun.

And I doubt they can
     handle the Paradise, let
alone the New World.

If I could change one
     *other* thing about women,
they'd all talk like this.

I just wish sometimes
     that porn could be an every
once in a while thing.

A loom would be used
     for weaving cloth out of thread
rather than sewing.

Why should I assume
     someone is the best choice just
because they are rich?

Its surprising how
     little cloth you actually need
to stay somewhat dry.

I had a woman
     come up- do you guys sell kits
to break into cars?

"They made me decide
     too early and now I hate
my job and have debt!

If everyone wants
     more information and thinks
I'm lying, well here.

The universe is
     all matter, all particles,
all everything, yes?

R is for Rapist.
     Gotcha. For now, consider
editing your post.

Radium not mixed
     into paint glows a faint blue.
Not shitty enough!

If he doesn't throw
     that ball perfectly, they most
likely lose the game.

Depending on where
     you are they may be other
people in massage.

I appreciate
     the compliment very much.
You just made my day.

[deleted] The bear
     took one look at her and thought,
I can't bear that bitch!

Evil Dead? I love
     The Lonely Island so much.
It's ridiculous.

I have no coding
     skill to speak of but who knows,
maybe I will. [Source.

well there aren't many
     other things that can happen
Thank you for your help!

I'll probably run some
     strength characters to get red
gem rewards for her.

Watch chick flicks with some
     chicken nuggets or ice cream
when its rainy out.

My ex was a guy,
     and he generally disliked
talking in public.

Electricity
     is cheap. Natural gas is cheap.
Internet is fast.

At least this time there
     was nobody whipping their
dicks out in support.

I'm not sure of all
     the details, she herself was
only a child then.

I put in the work,
     but I don't watch what I eat
nearly well enough.

No idea what
     to do here, the big number
is throwing me off.

i really have no
     idea why, but this is
fucking annoying.

I really don't like
     you'd like that because it won't
work like people think.

They do count as stand
     alone units and will give
kill points and first blood.

Both same age. Yeah plates
     under the heels is a good
way to get started.

Don't use the Dane Axe
     unless you're incredibly
confident with it.

Yeah, I think this young
     man just needs to think about
things a little bit.

They could also think
     about surrogate mommy.
Oh absolutely.

[deleted] Chinese
     food from Springfield, MO nowhere
else even compares.

Thug was also claimed
     back as a word for someone
who struggles, survives.

Anything less than
     that is inviting a curse
instead of blessings.

It was a fake tux
     shirt and jacket, and a "drape"
or top of the dress.

Not really any
     more elegant solution
at this point. So cool.

Sees his house crumble
     before him, and finally
dies as the last Frey.

[Technology has
     gotten to the point where you
don't have to either.

And if that's all you
     got from the movie, I think
you're missing the point.

Either way, I meant
     no offense to Anderson,
just a playful jab.

Now I'm curious,
     what kind of academic
research do you do?

I've never done it,
     so there could be something I'm
not considering.

I would really like
     to delve into the books, but
don't know where to start.

You are the woman
     hot enough to make me break
this personal rule.

If there's one thing I'd
     say make the sails bigger, but
this is excellent.

They could have at least
     chosen red to draw the hearts.
Its just common sense.

The first film ever
     shown in public was a train
coming towards the screen.

Every single time
     I'm in a public washroom
this happens to me.

A change in the law
     does not retroactively
undo a sentence.

Now, suppose as you
     say the client is looking
to pay up to 60k.

It is interesting
     to see how the "ideal" goal
changes over time.

Highly relevant,
     very funny, don't care if
you made it or not.

She asked me to go
     see a movie with her less
than an hour later.

As for my siblings,
     we rarely speak because... well...
their life is different.

But moving to Los
     Angeles from Australia
is quite expensive.

I think it's more like
     "why does this guy think we should
up vote his party?

I may have engaged
     in some cussing replying
to the top comment.

But cool idea!
     At the McDonald's near me
I'd kill for a seat.

Nurse here. I think all
     medical professionals
become numb to it.

The political
     implications would have been
interesting to read.

I smell burnt feathers
     Hey, sorry I don't have time
to read your comment.

Even if it's not
     true at least it will balance
out the universe!

[deleted] He didn't
     make this, it came out three years
ago I know that!

Fear of rejection?
     The Path is a very dark
and depressing game.

They fire employees
     since money isn't being
spent on their products.

It's not about who
     gives birth to who, but whose genes
are being passed on.

I'm *very* picky
     about what I allow them
to modify though.

Maybe some of them
     would, if it were safe for them
to stick their heads out.

The overwhelming
     majority of us keep
this instinct in check.

Ah, you might not be
     the person that came over
to smoke at my house.

So, who else would you
     have nominated to be
in that position?

The race which can make
     more (yet, of course, "worse") units
seems to be favored.

Sounds like a solid
     plan, good way to cut down on
launch vehicle weight!

one does not simple
     smoke "once a month" I'm so thrilled
and relieved for you!

what were the plot lines?
     "A Lot" more games? Actually, it's
less in most cases.

Or is that picture
     about seeing racism
pretty true? Never.

do you realize how
     fucking weird it would be if
you actually did this?

Then she called the cops
     because she thought we were trying
to steal her money.

Indeed. spec is what
     my friends and family call me.
Do I know you? No?

And every time you
     write shit, you'll be less likely
to write shit next time.

So... with this happening
     this makes the AB franchise more
/interesting/ as well.

At some point you would
     have done everything and would
be bored with living.

He lives a few states
     away- but I think we will
probably meet one day.

Please. I had a phone
     interview with Microsoft.
Y'all called an hour late.

You dying because
     you didn't take care of yourself
isn't newsworthy.

I would ALWAYS catch
     myself playing a different
character mid game.

Bikes direct, while not
     inherently bad, is not
as good as it seems.

The show had no soul.
     I'd be down, but it does seem
like a lot of work.

I feel you will learn
     your way around the night sky
much quicker this way.

Just because you can
     call something ridiculous
doesn't make it so.

That would certainly
     suffice to break her of her
murdering, I think.

Ok, I think I've
     found a better way to word
what I want to know.

i will munch i know
     that but i need foods that when
i do are healthy.

[deleted] Great game!
     Bought the sega collection
cd just for that!

I'm just glad we didn't
     have to ask you to lettuce
see your collection.

It's so weird being
     taller than another full
grown person, at first.

Was that sarcastic?
     That's awesome, way to go man.
What dorm was that in?

Nothing like finding
     out you can't walk right to get
you motivated.

Regardless, I didn't
     steal the image from the post
you are referencing.

Fuck expectations.
     This is a relationship
between two people.

You don't think Harden
     could fit into the role Dwayne
Wade has with Lebron?

I did the same thing
     you did and i'm having some
serious regrets.

Villain turned hero.
     Once you become literate,
you can't be evil.

I choose my content
     and try to engage people
that are in good faith.

This is just one more.
     I like it, but the edges
could be more rounded.

This really helped me
     understand why switching is
the best strategy.

No, he put his skill
     points into Charisma when
he started the game.

so what he makes his
     money on bull shit but Al
is really trying here.

If nothing is said
     only the pastor would be
the one who knows shame.

Doesn't matter how
     much you exercise if you're
still eating too much!

Our shower curtain
     liner has a row of teeth
marks on either side.

More money does not
     automatically equal
greater quality.

why *WOULDN'T* you stick
     your dick in a potato
chip container, bro?

Even if you HAD
     bought each one, I understand
buyer loyalty.

It's quite an insult
     to most Afghans to call them
by their currency.

This is pretty much
     the exact kind of answer
i was hoping for.

This means its a truck.
     Where food is made. Safe to say
standards will be lax.

A badly written
     movie will kill this faster
than anything else.

Only works if you
     say "Bacon Number [Actor
Here]" for me at least.

Link? Thanks dude. I would
     love to see a bad lip read
rendition of this!!!

I did not enjoy
     Surrogates. I thought it might
be Monet's species.

I'm going to go
     ahead and push back a bit
against this comment.

I don't see how you
     got to that conclusion from
my previous posts.

and friends that I would
     literally die for, I don't
do free tech support.

A third pairing D
     man that was scratched in the last
two games anyway.

Who knows. Will it be
     as effective as we hope?
Again, we don't know.

:p How long is it?
     Which direction does it curve?
How many degrees?

TIL offering little
     girls as burnt offerings isn't
human sacrifice.

You've really gotta
     be flexible and think on
your feet to succeed.

Its not hard at all
     if you have the nintendo
security bit.

Stop being so one
     sided, Owen is doing
this for us, not him.

That, or take her up
     on her offer and just pop
up near her again.

I think I feel bad
     cause my brother got the flu
and it hit him hard!

I don't understand
     the point of you tiptoeing
around him like this.

I imagine he's
     saying this: HO! Ha ha! Guard!
Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin!

Guess so. I named mine
     based on the Olympian
Gods [deleted] Real?

I really hope you're
     trolling because I cringed through
this entire thing.

You're exactly right.
     This only solves the problem
for head injuries.

Volunteer, go on
     vacations, hell, even think
about extreme sports.

Dude, there's no excuse
     for adults acting like that.
C'mon, they're adults.

But I would argue,
     no, let's have everyone pay
the same percentage.

Gonna miss that place.
     I don't think you want to go
to that area.

Sad to see him go
     but so happy to see him
leave as a Packer.

Wow. I bet working
     with a compiled language would
blow your little mind.

The teacher's unions
     own provincial politics
in Ontario.

Nobody I know
     has any idea what
he's talking about.

And I have actually
     bumped into them so they don't
seem to be cheating.

First, I never said
     I had the answers. That's why
I'm asking. Jackass.

So much open space
     there, and not all the frozen
wasteland some assume.

Solution? Just stay
     awake and watch tv or
browse the internet.

Thank you! Colby Did
     I ever SAY he wouldn't
be getting a shot?

What do you feel should
     compel someone not to kill
you for your wallet?

Slavery Footprint:
     fix slavery by fixing
the demand for it.

When I have a rough
     day with customers THAT is
what gets me through it.

I'm the exact same.
     Give melatonin a try
if you never have.

ok, now I know
     yer just going after style
but seriously?

An experience
     that might just be enhanced by
good food and music.

Although it probably
     won't involve super mutants.
So I guess that helps.

So I guess that helps.
     Original article
was from the Onion.

I've already been
     out to the closest Goodwill
hunting for a frame.

Both engines will give
     you your 10k watts, but coal burns
dirtier than gas.

We know exactly
     what we are going to get
when we scout someone.

I've never believed
     that Timothy McVeigh was
acting on his own.

That's a fun typo
     Umm, a hardcore gamer would
downgrade that to 98SE.

I need a practice
     facility to hit off
grass instead of mats.