Reddit Haikus

As a W
     hater, I like it. (Calm down.
Obama sucks too.)

Change your wash water
     and wash mitt after washing
the dirtiest parts.

Add to this the fact
     that Toronto gun crime is
at an all time high.

If you thought this was
     slow, don't even try Tinker
Tailor Soldier Spy.

Whether you're right or
     not, that last sentence makes you
seem like an asshole.

I have a corporate
     job, where shoes and take showers,
what now funny man?

It makes me love him
     more when he does do something
sweet or romantic.

No matter how much
     you clean it, in time it will
stink too much to use.

Do not try any
     product like Nair, they will give
you chemical burns.

Hope that he doesn't
     screw too much shit up during
his presidency.

I had to pretend
     to like their shitty music
while i dated him.

Parkinson's Syndrome
     is related to decreased
dopamine levels.

Try doing stuff like
     body weight squats every hour
or so, or pushups.

You **can** dodge it, but
     you still **have to** if they find
out you have a set.

But when a man does
     something to harm other man,
it's the fault of men.

How many kidneys
     should the state buy you for you
to go on living?

Sorry, I didn't think
     there was any chance it had
been posted before.

It's actually (I think)
     only buzzing because it's
missing it's top string.

What did you fall for?
     You guys had consensual
sex and fun was had.

Loading from a save
     prior to the poisoning
did the trick for me.

I will post pictures
     on Saturday when we get
all our makeup on.

If it's your first real
     piece, I suggest you blaze up
and name it yourself.

instead of running
     away all the time, you can
actually stand and fight.

It's great that he is:
     A: Reaching out to people
in a novel way.

Can you imagine
     if it were between the first
womb and her spine? Ouch.

The housings are just
     different due to the smaller
size of the camera.

OMG HOW'D YOU
     DO THAT AHH I LOVE IT Oh,
the humanity!

Some are easier
     for you to share deep scary
thought with than others.

Most will be pretty
     friendly and maybe offer
you some food or drinks.

I certainly do!
     Fun places to look at things
I cannot afford.

"Hey, so uh, you guys
     do a lot of diving when
you were kids?" Damn straight.

I think they would take
     the attention away from
the stretch marks, actually.

I also feel you'll
     fall for her emotionally.
That's just my guess though.

Perfect world KILL IT!
     SO. You can eat it if you
want to. Good on you!

It'll be a fun game
     and I'll be sitting front row
to watch it unfold!

-Mother Teresa
     I'm not sure exactly what
you are trying to say.

Good. I just wonder
     what the motivation is
behind stuff like that.

I really like Bob
     Dylan, but his style right now
is not very good.

No matter how you
     look at it, he won't see how
hurt you actually are.

It's a joke that stopped
     being funny a *very*
long time ago. Quite.

Imagine being
     so fortunate as to be
set up with this chick.

Its nowhere near large
     enough to be considered
relevant at all.

I have many times,
     this song however has had
the most impact though.

The Training Center
     don't have a elevation
correction feature.

They play a Goblin
     Guide T2 You play a mountain,
Lightning bolt their Guide.

Anyways, let's kill
     some niggers yep That is not
what I said at all.

He is actually wrong.
     The tradition bow knot is
not the ian knot.

My brand says first day
     if that is also my first
day of period.

To proselytize
     is to attempt to convert
someone's opinion.

Haven't had too much
     trouble seeing soccer there.
Good luck! Pedophile!

Sure, she doesn't want
     to get rid of the Fed, but
she'll stand up to it.

No wonder they are
     milking Sublime for every
dollar they can get.

People seem to be
     more upset that there are some
actual rules in place.

Problems are never
     strictly black and white, and it's
time that you learn that.

I've been looking too!
     Damn. Welp, maybe it was just
nothin' anyway.

Yeah, I found factions
     rather annoying, harder
to deal with than plots.

I fucked that tired
     joke about how no one will
believe Bill Murray.

Try coke. "I bet you
     don't hit that" "She makes you look
good" etc.

:D The double "s"
     throws a lot of people off,
so you're not alone!

If Calvin had some
     fucking effort there he would
have undercut that.

If she doesn't like
     the first two, it'll be a waste
to show her the last.

Just wanted to say
     the mixing and the bar are
both the venues fault.

That would change her soul,
     for the worse, and that, that is
not acceptable.

Sadly, I'm single
     right now, so I have to take
care of it myself.

I also love how
     ME1 is more expensive than
either ME2 or ME3.

so you do it by
     taking a picture of new
york city in it?

Laws (rules) have been made
     to govern an alliance
or coalition.

Thanks OP! Now I know
     what the punchline is before
I read the comic.

Exceptions to what
     shrouds means takes a lot away
from the argument.

Edit: Are people
     actually reading what this guy
is saying? He's nuts!

Poisonous, but won't
     kill you to touch one. Really?
How old do I look?

Didn't realize it was
     only the size of a Les
Paul in the pictures.

You don't *have* to find
     Mr. Awesome in order
to have sex, you know.

The first time they were
     great, but the second time is
more as you described.

Worst advice of thread.
     English mastiff. He's awesome
but can eat alot.

If his skin was green
     and had those weird ears it would
be a perfect match.

She lives very close
     to me and works in the same
general area.

If not then the price
     paid for a political
union is too high.

We don't stop other
     conflicts by jail, but we do
stop murders by jail.

Why would God tell you
     that X happened, when that X
didn't actually happen?

But alot of times
     I and others go and just
hang out in the streets.

I was looking out
     the window from the back seat
and saw a black man.

Now, we can only
     answer with a resounding
"maybe." any tips??

For what it is worth!
     I too agree If we win,
please remove your flair.

Considering their
     schedule, and the fact that they're
undefeated, yes.

If you can't handle
     being around her, then stop
being around her.

[deleted] Sticking
     feathers in your ass does not
make you a chicken.

Though, an 'animals
     in pants' section would really
make this more complete.

Sometimes I wonder
     why I have soft spot for our
former number 7's.

If it's always been
     this way and you haven't had
"the talk" yet, it's time.

I have never seen
     any proof that people lie
on the internet.

Otherwise, I'd be
     wearing gloves if I were you.
you are wonderful!

I think it'll seem like,
     to them at least, that I was
staring the whole time.

It does however
     hint towards instability.
There is no "best cure".

BETTER RATIONALE
     THAN TRADING FOR THE WORST MAX
CONTRACT IN HISTORY.

"marine" anything
     usually equates to good
quality, high price.

If you kill someone's
     family member, you should be
severely punished.

TIL that the bigger
     the band is, the more likely
their show is to suck.

I have done research.
     and I can tell you that it's
very very wrong.

Sigh, we used to be
     one country anyway, can't
oppose that logic.

Let the bank carry
     the risk that your primary
home falls in value.

Which vagina do
     you use when you masturbate?
Do you use them both?

[deleted] "Yes sir..
     I mean Madam!" Sounds like you're
doing it right then.

With that being said,
     the reward for doing such
practicing is huge.

And lastly, the friends
     and families of the victims
have my sympathies.

The movie version
     would probably be cooler than
the real life version.

i'm down with baby
     sea lions AND baby seals.
we don't need to choose.

Cold water actually
     reduces the battery
life no matter what.

Love his old albums.
     So much soul. Saw him, oh gees,
late 80's. Early 90's?

Good. There needs to be
     more options for people who
want to start streaming.

It's basically worse
     than 4gate vs 4gate and has
been since forever.

My best friend reads cards.
     and she told me that the cards
hate my ex boyfriend.

I just mean the way
     the college and pro teams match
up all weird like that.

Just like suits against
     bad drivers drive the worst out
from behind the wheel.

Why did I click that?
     It'll be single player, no
online components.

That's disappointing.
     You know who's trying to destroy
the worker's movement?

Just. Don't. Give. A. Fuck."
     Someone needs to look at some
natural breasts for once.

I would either ask
     straight up what's in it, or move
on to something else.

yeah but totally
     worth it because it'll increase
your sense of tempo.

The beauty comes from
     The syllabic alphabet
That is Japanese.

Communism works
     great in small groups, even up
to a few hundred.

Like implement new
     enemies you have never
seen before Risen.

Edit: in other
     words it wouldn't exactly
be about family.

Just remember, there
     will be a lot of reading
and money spending...

No marketing team
     would limit their audience
to only surfers.

They just need to tweak
     enough votes in the swing states
to create a win.

I say walmart or
     target are your best choices,
kohls maybe as well.

Nice Job! I like it!
     Did you just go to the bank
to get the pennies?

Most christians I know
     only act christian when it's
convenient for them.

Including the ones
     I've made in this very post.
Congratulations!

Well maybe not, but
     I can see a definite
stop and reset there.

But that's semantic
     and unimportant so I'll
keep using the phrase.

Yet the thought of how
     long removing this will take
gives me a headache.

Love them. Gotta go
     to the shop this week to stock
up on them again.

I'm not even sure
     how this bullying thing is
even related.

The philosopher
     statement is vague, and I'm not
sure why I wrote that.

However, I don't
     care for how the deck is run,
so I won't run them.

I honestly don't
     know the difference between them
and Vampire Weekend.

[deleted] Eh, not
     bad for a teenager who
wasn't into guns.

Hell, the same thing can
     be said against mothers who
kill their children too.

I could see using
     paper for a look, but yeah,
tape, maybe not. This.

Now here, I'm getting
     into conjecture, but I'll
advance a theory.

EDIT: And of course
     I have my phone with the time
on it. Who doesn't?

and Wenger doesn't
     always play players in their
prefered positions.

I, too, was a Booth
     Monkey once upon a time.
Cheers. What brought you here?

I am arguing
     that you are taking this WAY
too seriously.

This game is living
     up to the hype [deleted]
Ben Wah Balls by Blink-182.

Even though the sign
     right over the register
said "no sitting fee".

That cereal is
     great, but it sits like a brick
after you eat it.

I never actually
     played it that way out loud though.
Your nails make me smile.

I do love it, though.
     My Grandpa fought with Elvis
over my Grandma.

I also dated
     photographers, marketing
guys and bartenders.

Read this as "Every
     time I watch home alone", was
about to down vote.

Glad I finally
     got to use my liberal arts
degree for something.

I like the light blonde
     hair, I like the outfit... Just...
That face... He looks old.

How does "my network
     access didn't work" *not* entail
some "screwing around"?

It got up voted
     because of Diablo, not
because of cancer.

It's not relevant.
     It is absolutely true,
but not relevant.

And Yes its taken
     from breaking bad since were big
fans of it. Guess so.

Who really cares man,
     its about the video,
not what you call it.

He then turns to her
     and absent mindedly says,
"what meat do you use?

I just watched a Dan
     Gable documentary,
he might qualify.

The ones on the right
     are all pretty uniform
yet are not mug shots.

It penetrates too
     easily and your leather
will suck it right up.

Fresh and creative.
     That fact that you think those who
are pros aren't cheating.

You can't change other
     people, but you can change how
you react to them.

I like that design.
     I demand a link to said
dancing videos.

I demand a link
     to said dancing videos.
Dancing is awesome!

So what do you think,
     now that you at least slightly
know me? Get a job.

Now we have to see
     if our sputtering offense
can find some rhythm.

[deleted] Yeah, from
     the looks of it, I would save
up and start from scratch!

He did a bloody
     bad job of it if you could
see the earth moving!

Don't lose faith, there are
     plenty people out there who
see past the wheelchair.

You act like they are
     so terrible, but you are
the same fucking thing.

Sorry, that was me.
     I guess also who made that?
That is fun! Oh. Huh.

As far as I know,
     they can only track seeding
torrents from your IP.

lol fuck earth.
     Sigh. Just read the article
once before you talk.

They told me that if
     I were to tell anyone
I'd die instantly!

I have some ugly
     feet so I don't like wearing
sandals sometimes too.

Guess he got fined 45k
     though, so I hope that made him
think, probably not though.

I'm not sure this site
     is what I'm looking for, but
thanks for the info?

It was even more
     amazing than anyone
has ever described.

[deleted] I now
     live vicariously through
your father's penis.

and when you're right, you
     get credit. So brave indeed.
confirmed on saints stream?

Holy SHIT I thought
     I was the only ones who
remembered these games.

Instead be mindful
     and offer good suggestions
to improve the game.

Thanks for sharing! Source?
     Most of the reviews I read
stated the opposite.

I truly know how
     hollow simple words are when
you're stuck in a rut.

YOU GOT BOOKS? READ 'EM.
     YOU GOT HOMEWORK? FUCKING DO
IT. WHY WOULDN'T YOU?

THIS IS SHIT YOU WANT
     TO LEARN, RIGHT? THEN FUCKING LEARN
IT AND LEARN IT GOOD.

I feel that it could
     fit high register if that's
what you're looking for.

[deleted] I think
     I recognize the second
guy from the bottom.

They said the Nazis
     invaded Germany first.
And really, they did.

Even if the old
     paint didn't look like it had air
bubbles underneath.

Most babies cuddle
     up to mom, so they don't use
so much energy.

Hate us up until
     you want us to go into
Syria for you.

Driven by false hope.
     Right browns fans? its another
MORAL VICTORY! Right?

That was their big hit
     then and they knew exactly
when to bring it out.

Come on it's Japan,
     they love solving everything
with technology.

Once in an indoor
     venue far from the stage, once
outdoors near the stage.

The one fucking time
     I waited a little too
long to trim my nails...