Reddit Haikus

Sometimes adoption
     is just the best solution.
Best of luck to you!!

How am I going
     to believe he really wants
to be president?

The cast and crew are
     some of the nicest people
I've ever worked with.

I swear that he knows
     that after we get him groomed,
he looks much cuter.

I'm pretty thin but
     I have big muscular legs
especially my thighs.

It is important
     not to wear a smurf hat while
cooking bacon dogs.

Edit: And I don't
     know exactly what fines are
going to come up.

They might as well say
     paying taxes is against
their religion. Good.

When my boss leaves me
     alone to do my job is
also a nice thing.

Which implies that there
     are plenty of engineers
around already.

[deleted] My dog
     eats anything you give him,
i mean ANYTHING.

Essentially it's
     just a buildup of white blood
cells in a lymph node.

She made a ton more
     money than she ever would
need to do this stuff.

Is this what CERN has
     been working on? Ouch. Sorry.
Good luck finding one.

My mind is blown by
     how BIG that lead is compared
to everyone else.

Why did you switch from
     law to accounting if you
don't mind me asking?

And by being his
     friend, he'll feel comfortable
enough to tell you.

Most art is in no
     way supported or funded
by the government.

Tartar forms after
     plaque sits, undisturbed, for more
than a couple days.

The scrub brush covers
     more area and does just
as good of a job.

I don't want to "fit
     in the system", I don't want
to "be accepted".

Being a laid back
     person, getting chewed out was
really no biggie.

Why did the bike stop
     in the middle of the road?
It was too tired.

He later became
     my murderous lackey through
the course of the game.

I don't remember.
     But I'm leaving it there. wow,
are you serious?

Living in ME right
     now, I KNEW this would be on
here eventually.

[deleted] Cheers dude!
     Though it doesn't seem to be
playing anything.

That was truly worth
     the read, you brilliant genius
sir scholar bastard!

And don't revive him.
     Just let him keep wasting his
silver on repairs.

I'd just be "that guy"
     awkwardly walking around
with an erection.

But that doesn't mean
     the carrier knows what is
inside your package.

I just think equal
     rights means everyone should be
treated as equal.

The commentators
     said a lot of positive
things about the Browns.

She sleeps with me now
     at night and let's me pet her.
Edit: car to cat.

After spending some
     time with it, I can see its
actually excellent.

I should've known way
     back when. You know why, David?
Because of the kids.

I consider them
     glorified med techs that just
herd crazy people.

You don't slap him on
     the back and you wait for him
to finish speaking.

its your first attempt,
     am i allowed to correct
you for the next one?

However many
     lines there are, is how many
lines of coke we'll do.

Ponder, McCoy, Sproles,
     Harvin, White, M. Bush (if it's
Reggie, go Austin).

I've been wondering
     when I'd see these guys on here.
Fucking amazing.

All that will change is
     that I wont have $50k in loans
when I graduate.

I just don't get how
     my sound logic does not get
these whores to like me.

If the current office
     was republican, you would
see the same critique.

If it's a hassle
     for you, I won't take it, just
thought it'd look nice.

You're just in a bad
     one right now and the best thing
is just to move on.

I have this same jar,
     but I don't have a girlfriend.
My jar is empty.

You'll be a lot less
     suspicious around children
if you're not naked!

A carton of milk
     hasn't gone bad 'till it looks
like a lava lamp.

Christmas is coming?
     I'm playing around. John L.
Smith at halftime- "SMILE!!!!

I'm playing around.
     John L. Smith at halftime- "SMILE!!!!
WHY AREN'T YOU SMILING???"

I could hardly breath
     because my lungs would inflate
and make my chest kill.

Well, when you tell them
     sex is bad until they're dead,
then they *really* do.

Even if you are
     skinny, going to the gym
makes you look better.

I'm American,
     but I prefer Theatre
over Theater.

Sorry, but fuck this.
     I had one of these things land
on my brand new car.

Awesome song, always
     get pissed that "Go Baby" ends
The Cool, and not this.

Only those who vote
     get to choose! We can do it!!!
All those poor pennies.

Instead, she told me
     that was six hours of the best
sex she'd ever had.

When I took my dick
     out of the thinking process,
I agreed with you.

It's hard to see on
     this one, but the horn appears
to be flat on top.

Turned out really well!
     What's that green thing on the right
side of the engine?

The winters here are
     so damn cold, i feel cold no
matter what i wear!

Tea is essential.
     Ah yeah, not many people
know about that one.

My dog used to get
     himself into binds like this.
I just left him there.

No society
     can sustain itself without
organizing force.

It's not an easy
     situation even if
you're Barcelona.

I played that bassoon
     in the company of Ben
and it was gorgeous.

If that's the case would
     other 80's songs also fit
in the universe?

I know men who found
     their significant others
on a dating site.

According to her,
     my premium was added
to her gross income.

If performance is
     still impacted, then kill all
the fucking chickens.

Bill and you can go
     to college to pursue what
really interests you!

[deleted] Yeah, not
     sure where you found out about
the turret not scaling.

[deleted] ...if you
     want people stop in the street
and laugh at your feet.

Finally, something
     I can praise Obama for.
And I hate you too!

I don't think people
     were put off by it being
not different enough.

Congratulations
     to Spurs, managed to withstand
the onslaught. Well done.

If I stop mining,
     the power draw (and therefore
heat) is a lot less.

I do recommend
     getting it if you can get
your hands on it though.

[deleted] Or there
     would be mass genocide, but
with really great art.

That's what by buddies
     and I have always called them.
I had a great time!

Well played. Yeah its nice
     for not burning yourself when
you're pretty damned high.

Stroll past them, even
     give them a condescending
nod as you do so.

Well he's got a point
     there, it is pretty funny
to insult crackers.

I wish i could post
     my favorite songs and have them
go to the front page.

They're just not good. Ah,
     that sounds like a better way
to say that. Thank you.

Find people better
     than you and strive to become
better than yourself.

I don't lock my cell
     phone and I could care less who
has my finger print.

Sigh. Are you saying
     the whole town smelled like chocolate
in the air? Awesome.

Children are people
     at the moment you decide
to try and have one?

I'm sure there probably
     isn't, because someone would
have found it by now...

Irrelevant I'm
     glad because this proves me right
in every instance.

Some things work for SOME
     dogs, but not always, even
when used properly.

Want to use shitty
     hand made ammo that will break
your gun the fuck up?

"Getting over it"
     isn't something you do, it's
something that happens.

It's super sticky
     and doesn't slide off when you
sweat, best stuff ever.

Except from that tho,
     he's a really cool guy just
like any other.

One of my favorites.
     Yep. It would get another
three desktop users.

Oh I agree, but
     saying they didn't have a chance
is inaccurate.

You'll definitely
     lose that thing eventually
from the wheels and belts.

You'll find a new girl,
     it just takes time. Video!!
I demand it!! Please?

It's an ingenious
     system to foil marketers,
and works very well.

If your into hip
     hop, these a few guys you may
want to get to know.

awesome LE GEM GEM
     GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM SO BRAVE!!!
GEM!! AM I RIGHT?!?!? HUH?

Thanks, I was actually
     too lazy to look it up,
which is pretty sad.

More people believe
     in evolution now than
when he was alive.

Like someone who thought
     Vernon Davis would break out
eventually (me).

Except everyone
     is mentioning it over
and over again.

I teach poor black kids
     who have very little hope
for a better life.

Yeah... *"Defensive"* trance
     I feel the same way, I like
the growth he's gone through.

I guess some other
     people closer to the stage
ignored his buddy.

He changed his mind once
     he realized that Jews wouldn't
convert to Islam.

This is just the most
     recent stupid thing I've done,
*not* the most stupid.

Yup, that ONE as well.
     See what i did there? I can
be sarcastic too.

I guess they figure
     if no one plays it they won't
have to balance it.

The thread used to be
     tacked but is not anymore.
Not sure why. Yes, true.

You successfully
     gave no fucks in the moment
*and* after the fact.

If its a unit
     vector, does it have to go
along an axis?

Sometimes jobs or art
     can be very intimate
and compared to sex.

tomorrow, i start
     heroin Yeah, I'm pretty
ashamed about it.

I already got
     the raspberry pi, just need
the 60K down payment.

There is a really
     good chance this is his biggest
game of the season.

This means you can be
     more prepared and even pre
fire around corners.

And I couldn't give
     the slightest damn whether you
are or not either.

Just because he served
     his times doesn't mean people
have to forgive him.

How many people
     are going to be using
Globes at the same time...

I'm not saying it's
     bad, but it's not better than
other mesmer builds.

i think i woke up
     my entire neighborhood
when the whistle blew.

Too lazy to do
     the math Proud nazi I didn't
condemn you for it.

It all depends on
     the artwork, not the canvas.
why so [serious?

I've only shot clays
     one time before but it was
definitely fun!

Get absorbed into
     something fun and exciting
and never look back!

I don't agree but
     must be call me maybe or
something similar?

Day games and softball
     games when I can't watch, I use
that feed to listen.

You can easily
     run through a couple hundred
surgeries a day.

I still play Starcraft
     every night and for several
hours on my day off.

I'd too personally
     fly over to Ohio
and hug you for that.

it worked really well.
     I came less than 2min after
the sucking started.

So stop trying to block
     all my ideas out, you
were wrong a few times.

You have your whole life
     to fend off a fat ass, don't
go looking for it.

At the top of his
     lungs he shouted 'Why aren't you
doing any work?'.

I work in retail
     and I can tell a silver
coin just from the sound.

That's probably what OP's
     girlfriend was suggesting, if
she exists at all.

The problem is, I'm
     really not that interested
in vanilla sex.

It's maddening at times,
     but the highs are what a Spurs
supporter lives for.

I don't like being
     told what to do anymore
than anyone else.

[deleted] You don't,
     they are both adults, let them
handle it themselves.

it's actually purple
     if you have your mouse hovered
over the button.

Most of my colleagues
     at the high school are actually
good, caring teachers.

Please don't take away
     from what is a fantastic
achievement for Spurs.

it's just science Are
     you talking about the kid
in the video?

Personally, I think
     movies and TV shows do
this better than books.

In Sicily you
     can have horse meatballs that are
really really good.

Any job I did
     not get, it has never been
because of my race.

[deleted] I love
     the fact that I can do what
I want, when I want.

You do that. Have fun.
     Then I see her the next day
coming through my till.

The little kid was
     bleeding out of her belly
button or something.

EDIT: Spelling That's
     wonderful, I'm smiling just
imagining this.

I still don't get them
     as bad as other people,
but they still happen.

I do love the tools.
     So I admit that's a huge
chunk of it right there.

Bags of money are
     thereafter loaded into
the helicopter.

I agree about
     the active pickups, I'm not
big on them as well.

We are not "spineless"
     because we don't spend more time
discussing Islam.

That's what all fans want
     out of their team, and its what
makes a great sportsman.

That seems to have some
     affect on girl's perceptions
at that age as well.

I remember when
     The Chronic dropped, but I still
think Kanye is great.

Well, first and foremost,
     I would like to compliment
you on your English.

I don't think they want
     to drive the competitors
out of the market.

Just don't trick yourself
     into being addicted.
Ah, that explains it.

Step One: Set the trap
     Step Two: Wait Step Three: Bag her
and run. Good hunting.

I guess James May would
     notice while driving by on
the autobahn then.

Thankfully he got
     the message that I was not
one to be fucked with.

Looks like the world may
     have come to the Texas State
Fair. I don't want to.

Trunks are for pussies.
     You're like the millionth person
who commented this.

That's all I'm saying
     [deleted] I think we all
have the same sickness.

Not sure if the O's
     quite there yet. What can I say?
I don't like jargon.

The soldier that kills
     Mellish is unknown, Miller
is killed by "Willie".

None of this happens
     on the internet. "Hey! Hey!
That call is for me.

Apparently there
     is a five story shopping
mall in there Joke post?

For a while he had
     his hair longer, so he looked
even more like him.

I doubt Marx would be
     anywhere near satisfied
with his body count.

Comments like these do
     not contribute anything
to the discussion.

Literature is
     not scripture, and the contra
positive holds true.

Because it always
     seems like our opponent has
at least one Bronn. No.

I have spent my day
     planning how to hook it all
up in my bar. Wow.

There's a reason why
     you cheer more for your country
in the Olympics.

As she walked away,
     I remember thinking, "heh,
tricked her." Poetry.

Cannabis. That is
     so sweet of you, but really...
we weren't that upset.

And not at Max's
     or Brewer's Gary Johnson
looks so lovable.

There is a chase scene
     that references Pepe le
Pew from Looney Tunes.

I really only
     expect at most one person
to get hit, if that.

Even the author
     agrees that the movie was
better than his book.

I think the teacher
     may have eventually been
able to end it.

Then I slowly rise
     to a standing position
and open my eyes.

I have to admit
     I wouldn't have had that much
compassion, either.

I'm on OH and all
     the LSD I've had has
been pretty good too.

A perfect being
     certainly doesn't need you
to glorify it.

Then god can do that.
     I'll wait for it to happen.
Ball is in his court.

Edited to "Their
     Bible" as in whichever
one they believe in.