Reddit Haikus

I don't understand
     how anyone would think just
saying "hi" would work.

how 'bout most are straight,
     but everyone is fucking
stoked on his progress?

When you're that rich, do
     you even need to bother
looking attractive?

My dad had a bad
     time when I gave it to him
since I didn't want it.

If the world would bow
     down to Ryan Murphy, it'll
be a better place!

We'll keep making them
     as long as we have people
that want to listen.

Even though it was
     on there, it didn't really serve
much of a purpose.

Not quite the same when
     you (should) have multiple schools
in the same country.

Nice try with the same
     old bullshit Romney staffer.
Fuck off already.

I just realized I'm
     doing it right now and I'm
alone in my room.

I didn't do a full
     body pic because I didn't
have one of fat me.

I am Australian
     and i know this figure is
much more accurate.

surrender buttons
     only blow at the very
lowest skill levels.

But after I watched
     that retrospective that was
posted earlier.

No problem not trying
     to be a grammer nazi
or anything... Bro!

I think it's different.
     What if it was Mitt Romney
himself in that ad?

It really isn't
     even true in relation
to the law itself.

It seems many on
     this site try to get wireless
to things at wired speeds.

She's talking about
     places where people make less
than $2/day, not hourly.

The fact that you think
     Ron Paul is your third party
option says a lot.

well, it's commonly
     served in a box, since paper
bags are absorbent.

Karma for my dead
     pet please* Tis... tis a **true** ent!
always nice to see.

Unless shit gets moist,
     no way these trees are going
to be invasive.

You have a portal
     on the wall and another
inside your stomach.

All this shit will pass
     and the universe will not
miss this one planet.

Whatever you say.
     Life is to short to argue
with someone like you.

I've fought addiction
     to opiates and refuse
to go back on them.

And I personally
     thought it was normal, until
I went to England.

Actually, a catchy
     song is a good song, even
if you don't like it.

Some where the flag on
     the left also but it is
always on the right.

Every year has its
     good and bad points, why single
out that period?

We're never going
     to agree on this so I'm
just going to stop.

If the net amount
     overall is the same then
what is the problem?

Every pony has
     their flaws, that's what makes the show
fresh and interesting.

The problem is most
     feminists and feminist
supporters do not.

That way no one dies.
     Yeah, he's sort of known for that.
Do you even lift?

Things like phone charging
     cables can be felt when you're
almost touching them.

They don't, I was just
     trying to be clear and narrow
the topic a bit.

Am I right? Your point
     is not a good one and is
just your opinion.

It's fun to look back!
     EDIT: Now reads "giant boobs",
instead of just "boobs".

Roll call. How many
     people read this on their phone
near other people?

The newer models
     are easier to do than
the later models.

Trust me, they're nothing
     compared to my amazing
tea reading powers.

He should've led off
     with this, then just left the stage
and kissed some babies.

You will find the most
     brilliant, accidental ways
to kill each other.

No one is taking
     your money away from you.
We're just judging you.

It got so "severe"
     that the doctors that it would
crush his lungs and heart.

Akiba89 missed out.
     same Master kush sure didn't solve
that problem for me.

COOL COMICS! FUCK OFF.
     Duel of the Fates. Fuck yeah,
Thank you John Williams.

Though, hopefully you
     get a good seminar group.
Those can be real fun.

We have the order
     number and what time it is
on, but not much else.

The world would probably
     come to the manor. Oh, nice.
I see you're an ent.

It also kinda
     cheesy, but I think that is
personal preference.

and still, your parents
     love you, in spite of how much
you disappoint them.

It sounds like it was
     emotionally abusive,
but I could be wrong.

If you stick with him
     even as friends your feelings
are going to stay.

.au domains are worth
     not that much. who gives a shit!?
you live near [Shamu!

All thanks to high school
     football, taking weightlifting
very serious.

Business is about
     to pick up!! None to speak of.
Love that bike. Me too!

Is she hot? Ask her
     if she wants to strip for me
over the web cam?

I'm also pretty
     sure the coaches got like $20k
each for coming back.

Oh my God, I read
     your first sentence, and I was
just about to blow.

And I turn out like
     this and expect me to just
keep doing it. No.

This will fix the 8gate
     allin P can do against
Z and T slightly.

I love history, but
     i see no reason to hold
grudges over it.

I know that's really
     hard for humans in general
but it would be nice.

His reasoning was
     that those guys couldn't afford
to take a day off.

The guy who reads them,
     Jim Dale, is incredible.
E) Gas? I agree!

I knew what that meant.
     My boyfriend was an asshole.
A cheating asshole.

I have stretch marks on
     my ass and legs from gaining
so much weight so fast.

It's certainly not
     going to touch dip or pipe,
but it gets me by.

And this was widely
     considered by everyone
to be a bad move.

I'm happy to see
     the Nats, Orioles, Pirates,
and A's playing well.

Try my max's head
     for a damn soldier hat. Yeah....
in the feels. Hello!

I had the exact
     same thing happen with an old
coworker of mine.

It's worth the money,
     I feel like an asshole, but
you should start saving.

Unfortunately,
     nobody really other
than him could earn it.

what does your first line
     have to do with the second
or the bigger ice.

Also I am not
     calling her those names, they are
names she has been called.

The less specific
     you are on the word "victim",
the more is implied.

Some hours I have mourned
     for being on for too long
and getting no sleep.

If I were you, I'd
     take the dog to your parents
until he moves out.

Fans of the new are
     happy Fans of the old are
happy It's all good!

Remember to use
     FORD. Family Occupation
Recreation Dreams.

He's named after his
     grandfather who was Chinese.
He was a dick too.

You are not at fault.
     Seems like communication
is paramount here.

If gay marriage hurt
     people I could understand
the debate I guess.

I found that funny!
     Maybe the Republicans
will do Snoop next year!

Are you serious?
     What in the world makes you think
that is convincing?

I can't wait for this.
     You never go ass to mouth!
IM IN THE SAME BOAT!

The Vietnam war
     was almost as one sided.
Not as much love though!

It is very true
     for witch doctors, the more mobs
the better frankly.

Staying hydrated
     (and sleeping, obviously)
makes a huge difference.

Very nice. I love
     the submissive point of view.
Any tips on that?

Maybe I'll just start
     playing games when he wants sex.
Or is that too mean?

*patting my self on
     the back Mom walks in and asks,
"What are you doing?"

Netanyahu must
     go, and I think he's on his
way out anyway.

I read your comment
     quickly and missed exactly
what you were saying.

We are such a big
     sub at this point that we've had
to diversify.

Definitely yes,
     and I know many converts
married to born Jews.

I feel so good now!
     Also, how did you respond
and link that so fast?

Can someone explain
     how exactly would that work
in practical terms?

[deleted] Always
     watching me? As much as girls?
Nobody did this.

I'm curious but
     not enough to put that much
effort into it.

Protons and Neutrons
     are also the same thing, but
with even more spins.

I get the extra
     sensitive ones and I don't
even notice them.

Keep on keeping on,
     my friend. Oh, the irony.
I'll check that as well.

I've been playing since
     the end of summer so these
things are new to me.

My hair. And I don't
     just mean the hair on my head.
I mean every where.

I go to the gym,
     but my body is REALLY
slow at gaining mass.

Do it, and you will
     be so happy you will want
to show everyone.

No shit? [deleted]
     So that's what real, paid for porn
looks like in the wild.

[deleted] So that's
     what real, paid for porn looks like
in the wild. Whoa, TIL.

I don't know if that's
     going to hurt me or just
slow down the progress.

Democrats were left
     flat footed and weren't able
to defend Healthcare.

It's an amazing
     story with similar ties
to the episode.

-lil B I installed
     new drivers and restarted,
and that did the trick!

I can't stress enough
     how impossible *basic*
motor functions were.

I feel like this set
     up reminds me of how I've
lived the past few years.

This is the exact
     same thing that happened to me
like two weeks ago.

This was just a speech
     (albeit a good one) meant
to rally his base.

HEAD. D': [deleted]
     I sat there for an hour just
trying to connect Dude.

Was thinking about
     boiling it, but, I fear I'd
shatter my baby.

Here in Canada,
     people overwhelmingly
support Obama.

It was pretty good
     before they started running
everybody off.

I want to not care
     what other people think, but
I'm only human.

What, exactly, is
     Romney not going to do
that Obama is?

Religion itself,
     I would argue, doesn't come
from evolution.

You should really read
     some history before making
asinine claims, OP.

Oh my god no way.
     I can't believe people like
the taste of that stuff.

I got half way through
     the final hand and forgot
how to produce more.

She would always say.
     I just because I am cold
doesn't make it cold.

Nope, I think you are
     the only stupid Fuck out
there that would do that.

Except every now
     and then, I hear what a turn
off it is for girls.

Yep, just pick a date
     and whoever can show up
can show up. That's life...

But it wouldn't be
     as strong if it was worded
any differently.

Especially when you
     have the capability
to edit something.

When I was a wee
     lad, hadn't heard my voice much
since I hit the teens.

And that just happened
     to be what did it for me.
I shot her a wink.

You are who you are
     fuck what anyone else thinks
about you. ouch. burn.

I mean, of you see
     red as green, why not orange
as yellow as well?

He'll be scared on his
     own and he needs to know it's
ok to go. Dead.

obama depends
     on large amounts of people
giving small amounts.

EDIT: on closer
     reading, maybe you do mean
FILO Don't feel bad.

Ya this is not new
     came out when the episode
first aired. No, that's sprint.

PM your email
     addy and I'll see if she'll
give you the run down.

I hope the OP stays
     careful, because that is one
valuable item.

Anyway, great, thanks!
     Your input is exactly
what I'm looking for.

A thousand up votes!
     Love, love! Forwards and backwards,
never side to side.

But he needs to make
     repairs and other ship stuff.
This was beautiful.

These fucking niggers
     love to act all hard like them
rappers on tv.

But there are also
     cheaters who just make a bad
dishonest mistake.

He's just a gneiss guy.
     Well, I've got good news for you
fake robot human.

Well, I've got good news
     for you fake robot human.
It went okay... What?

Same situation
     with eating and working out.
I know that feel bro.

If you are him, you
     need to calm down, heart issues
run in the family.

Hopefully I will
     hit that one last spurt and be
at least ok height!

I guess he probably
     didn't call himself that, unless
he was in his cups.

The official calls
     out that next set of matches
is about to start.

[deleted] Needless
     to say, I was in high school
when I ran my league.

'Cause that's gonna be
     Romney's money shot. What is
that theory based on?

I think it is called
     nodule acne, where they are
big, deep, and painful.

What about.. dollop?
     I haven't worked it, just got
my garage set up.

I've since blocked it from
     my memory and refuse
to read it again.

And breaking even
     is pretty damn good compared
to everything else.

It's like that back wheel
     just wants to stick to the ground
and provide traction.

He puts himself out
     there for me to see, even
if its *just* for me.

Even if you don't
     physically show it, tell them
how you feel at least.

People *want* to get
     angry over religion.
They're seeking it out.

I've had no children
     yet, my breast have always looked
flat and deflated.

People like this is
     what allowed America
to achieve greatness.

But what you will see
     is a group of people who
all like the same thing.

Being from Brazil,
     the hard cold feels so deep, it's
very depressing.

I just want to make
     my league my own and I can't
in this edition.

read the back story
     on this piece of shit and see
why he moved the team.

[deleted] You get
     the best bang for your buck there...
almost literally.

Yes, speaking of which,
     I've got some cleaning to do.
Okay, Dave Hester.

I kind of like it.
     I think it adds character.
Holy guns batman!

I don't think I could
     let him off the hook for not
standing up to her.

Those bread and butter
     pickles don't even deserve
to be called pickles.

All the data is
     in my past posts and comments
on how to do it.

Touche'. Lol, you
     used fact checking and Fox news
in the same sentence.

It's the episode
     Beach Games. I honestly hope
4chan DOES find this one...

Nobody's ever
     actually passed an ordinance.
It's just unenforced.

The random events
     in the field in D3 just don't
have any real depth.

Most underrated
     player on the Leafs roster
in my opinion.

Also ending on
     "to be continued" was just
too hilarious.

I'm thinking about
     my German, so I decide
Fuck it, what the hell.

It's not like I can
     (or would) do anything else
other than take it.

It is easier
     to implement it system
wide than grade by grade.

As long as you aren't
     hurting anybody it's
fine by me. Ahh, shoot!

I'm considerate.
     But is that really why men
are homophobic?

it's been around since
     the beginning but no one
knew how to use it.

Kills me everytime.
     Daylight savings fades the FUCK
outta my curtains.

You aren't the only
     ones who like to speak your own
language sometimes. [hah!

[deleted] I cut
     back on the stress in my life,
which seemed to do it.

first how old are you,
     how long have you been playing,
and at what level?

You'd think? She doesn't
     exist because I only
seemingly date WHORES.

I think I'm going
     to schedule one for next week
on or near campus.

Whole wheat pasta NEEDS
     to be pan cooked with a sauce
after its been boiled.

As the person said
     below, you can do it on
the cheap no problem.