Reddit Haikus

No no! What I meant
     was that, I believe, drag queens
are typically gay.

*shrugs* All alien
     planets look like a quarry
in Whales. *All* *of* *them*.

Wait, I didn't know that.
     Nothing at all? Not even
my penis? artist?

*bitch slap to part with*
     Wow, this is really nice, done
digitally right?

The Greatest Story
     Never Told. Knock knock Who's there?
Jimmy Jimmy who?

Did the rotor snap
     after hitting the cable
and cause the damage?

Conversely, a good
     teacher won't always teach you
what you want to learn.

So fucking what if
     the kids refused to accept
his apology?

Not sure why this is
     funny, mind explaining where
the humor comes from?

I've had to explain
     to multiple people how
to update an app.

Obviously had
     to keep the Total Rewards
header in the frame.

I still talk to her
     and we flirt a bit, but that's
not happening again.

As for vaginal
     appearance, consider this.
ITS A VAGINA.

I bound dodge to shift,
     but for some reason I still
kind of double tap.

There's nothing about
     atheism that says "you should"
do any of that.

And thus you've rendered
     analogies as a tool,
utterly useless.

[deleted] This is
     now my most favorite image
to ever exist.

Need a machete
     and a map for some of them...
Stop! Don't recycle!

Either that, or you
     just like saying things that are
utterly stupid.

Archeology
     and Anthropology are
both fascinating.

They have a special
     name but I can't remember
what it is. And thanks.

House of horrors quest.
     Starts out fine, then OH SHIT OH
SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!

It sounds to me like
     you have a sex drive lower
than the average guys.

If you yourself aren't
     out networking, your business
isn't gonna grow.

Palestinians
     in the West Bank are barred from
using certain roads.

I wasn't really
     double parked that bad, but some
bitch parks just like this!

In practice though, you
     can still buy from amazon
from other countries.

Freeze, although Victor
     Fries IS a doctor. They will
if they give a shit.

So, no, I haven't.
     Yes, I only have one spoon
at my desk at work.

Don't worry, the hot
     exhaust can on the bike will
cauterize his leg.

She either had him
     babysit, or she left her
child unattended.

Because of Jesse.
     Since you were all so nice here
is a second view.

I play a cleric.
     Elf, modeled off of Doctor
Who and Superman.

But damn is she hot.
     you clearly don't understand
wit or satire.

I can quit any
     time I want to! I just... don't...
want to... But I can!

Usually if you
     have the channel on Virgin
you get the catch up.

I must be getting
     old, because for the first time
ever, I didn't click!

Logic doesn't come
     close to describing the thought
process you went through.

The last time i played
     bagpipes you could hear them two
map switches over.

Honestly, it's all
     there, I just don't know if it's
in the right order.

You've been watching those
     special Japanese cartoons
again, haven't you?

I'm ashamed to say
     that I've never been as far
south as Ukraine is.

I am embarrassed
     to say it never occurred
to me to wonder.

I was just talking
     about pure test and nothing
else on the cycle.

get off your high horse,
     and quit with the "holier
than thou" attitude.

The delivery
     guy commented that they thought
we had moved away!

Maybe it's not what
     this server was made for but
you can do it there.

one of them lost his
     license and his truck for his
multiple DUIs.

We do sometimes need
     to be reminded that it's
just a tv show.

This can help broaden
     your research depending on
what you're looking for.

I walk by and hear,
     "Grandma! don't tickle me!" Her
Grandmother is dead.

Your belly button
     looks like a clenched fist. Left fist.
You *are* the father!

But being useful
     tells us why it evolved, but
not how it is done.

I can hold my own
     for a while, but once a champ
pack shows up, I'm done.

[deleted] Okay,
     here's how we determine this.
It's really simple.

=D As I'm mentioned,
     I'm avoiding anything
I feel can be bad.

And with all the rain
     we've had, our seeing has been
shit the past few days.

I hope it helps, if
     you want anything else or
more advice just ask.

Why aren't companies
     hiring these people to make
commercials for them?!

No one has actually
     come out and tried to explain
the situation.

[deleted] I'm pro
     choice also but have never
been attacked for that.

My mom is probably
     standing behind the camera
fighting off laughter.

You have given me
     nothing to have any claim
over my assets.

Does your drummer play
     with a full kit when you guys
play shows? I'm a male.

As some one who's done
     this sort of work let me clear
something up for you.

If your essay is
     solid, you'll actually sit there
and go "damn, that's good".

Then for the next two
     weeks, keep the diet, and up
your workout routine.

That game set a dark
     gritty tone as soon as you
begin your walk cuffed.

the goal was nightly.
     Does your child spend time looking
at books on their own?

I still haven't seen
     The Time Travelers Wife. I should
give it a try soon.

It has a lot more
     to do with geography
than anything else.

or any other
     instruments for that matter
(that I can recall).

To the OP: I think
     those shoes are really ugly
and looks super cheap.

I always thought Thresh
     was killed by the elements,
or because of them.

Case (c): The contract
     is silent as to rounding
or exactitude.

Not **stating** facts is
     completely irrelevant
in terms of experts.

And he doesn't need
     human agents, he controls
the whole universe.

Find a guy that makes
     you happy when he's around.
Don't judge his future.

This commercial sucks
     the blue vein [deleted] Blown
out of proportion?

Every time he gets
     the ball I think he's gonna
do something special.

I know that hasn't
     materialized, although,
I'm hoping it does.

However fed still
     might take plants that are growing,
if you had any.

We also accept
     speed cameras, because the fine
is manageable.

This thread needs to be
     thrown down not a large, not small,
but medium well.

I always wanted
     to play it because it had
Walken in it No.

Leap years were taken
     into account when the Dec.
21st date was given.

I'm amazed that you
     managed to do so well on
your first time around!

I know the feeling.
     I know that professionals
aren't always helpful.

I was a tomboy
     so I didn't have a dress but
my friend lent me hers.

Are you saying trees
     take up more water via
their leaves than their roots?

This looks... a lot like
     the Age of Chivalry source
mod, except better.

Fifteen lil swimmers
     made it, dang. New East Berlin?
I've done that before.

They played close matches
     and neither team looked to make
intentional throws.

Free floating vapor?
     Free floating fucker, more like.
Come on, let's get 'em!"

Yes, I think it's wrong
     if you don't properly clean
the table after.

But just about all
     diesel is imported from
Malaysia to here.

Post is a couple
     weeks old, but it doesn't look
like you found one yet.

[deleted] Four eyed
     house is disappointed by
your shenanigans.

But other than that,
     yeah its an inconvenience
more than anything.

Then I asked her what
     films she would never pirate
and always pay for.

Unfortunately
     noone reads this info until
after it happens.

Listen to the song
     We're from america by
Marilyn Manson.

Randy at least has
     fire as a heel, Kofi can
barely talk. Every.

Have you got any
     links that could help me do what
you've described above?

Anyway, sorry
     I didn't post a link, but glad
someone else found it.

That's good advice too.
     Thank you. You start tomorrow.
ACCESS RESTRICTED.

ONE climbing attempt...
     Nope. ONE Arrow shot... Nope. Well,
fuck it, she'll come down.

Todd is a caveman.
     How can anyone trust him
to do anything?

This might sound a bit
     strange, but I despise cleaning
the house with my SO.

I'd rather be on
     you than doing my essay.
That's what I'm thinking!

As long as people
     still buy it, interscope will
still charge high for it.

I would think they would
     exempt since they are separate
from the linked drama.

We do what's best, or
     we do what we think is best.
I'm happy with it.

Well there would be wars
     around those constellation
to claim dominion.

I don't MIND being
     cut, but I would have rather
had the choice myself.

Invite friends over.
     Tell them to bring the snacks. Boom.
You just broke even.

Was her dad's name Sid
     James? The Silence of the Lambs.
No one had said this?

If you haven't toyed
     with these things before it's not
very obvious.

Oh my. But I see
     you avoided my questions.
Which I knew you would.

You're very welcome.
     :D I'm glad other people
are enjoying it!

Edit: Also you
     don't actually understand what
Bread and Circus means.

This thread is the first
     I've heard about it. I'll be
watching it now though.

[deleted] I've had
     my filter file deleted
for ages, no ban.

I can easily
     give you a situation
where that would happen.

So for insightful
     & thoughtful analysis
I go with Buster.

Watching Breaking Bad
     and Sons of Anarchy now.
My two favorite shows.

Find that little spot
     you need to be in, and live
and love, and enjoy.

I would word it more
     like, I have girls who are friends
that are attractive.

Fine then. Tell people
     facts about your life that no
one asked about much?

The Ten Commandments...
     Well who would have thought a tongue
would get me going.

[deleted] Why don't
     people like him as an AD
carry anymore?

Do you think someone
     can be fundamentally
evil in nature?

Don't hang out with them,
     don't hang out at places where
you know they will be.

That is, you are trying
     to refute every last word
the guy is making.

I bought so many
     games that I cant install them
all till November.

I was hoping some
     one had a file they could flip
to me on drop box.

We had this question
     only a few days ago
and it ranked highly.

Just proves you don't need
     to shell out over a grand
to get a PC.

Champion. Black paint
     in colder climates, white paint
in warmer climates.

I know right! How dare
     he come here and say nice things!
YOU AM GO TO FAR.

[deleted] This just
     in, the tooth fairy doesn't
believe in adults!

Hang out with her friend
     if you want, or you can all
hang out together.

It's obviously
     not a long term choice, I said
that in the letter.

I'm there! Sounds like fun
     Perhaps you should tell your friend
about these feelings.

It could be, people
     won't respond to friend requests
so hold on. Will do!

Last time I was there
     I wanted to scream at them
to leave me alone.

I'm the same. I feel
     so left out sometimes, living
here in Australia.

They are consuming
     less *of the one resource whose
price is going up*.

So I'm not clear if
     you are addressing my point
or ignoring it.

This in itself is
     rather passive aggressive.
Haters gonna hate.

We're pretty damn good
     at that, thank you very much.
Dat Apple Keyboard.

I'm a bit busy
     today but I'll sort something
out during the week.

Enjoy your peanut
     butter sandwiches now bitch.
What is this app called?

Hope this helps. I guess
     the show Figure It Out was
fashioned after this.

As for the school thing,
     I don't think it'd affect
your studies that much.

This is the first time
     I've heard about a recent
ebola outbreak.

That is no different
     from pretty much any first
world nation on earth.

You are such a dag
     :p With a kid she can clock
180-hour work weeks instead.

PLEASE DON'T DO ANY
     MORE. ITS 6AM HERE AND NO ONES
AWAKE EXCEPT ME.

please exactly this.
     It's what the developer
releases are for.

Might be unlikely
     that it would, but I don't trust
anything that could.

Whenever I see
     this guy show up, I prepare
my mind for knowledge.

OK then. Those damn
     crazy cat ladies, running
up the averages.

No? Then why worry
     about it? Are you hot now?
I bet you're hot now.

Thank fuck this isn't
     4chan, they'd be demanding 'OP
Deliver!' by now.

Oh heck yeah. I've been
     saying this for awhile now.
I see this issue.

Furthermore, dogs are
     the most loving and loyal
things on this planet.

...you know God Hand *is*
     pretty cool. Good for you. Thanks!
Yeah you're right, fixed them.

Not sure if you read
     all the books already, but
if not, don't read it.

I don't know, the hair
     might be dyed, but dying her
bush and eyebrows too?

So my girlfriend should
     be older than me for her
to be the right age???

However, kudos
     to you for thinking of that!
[deleted] IT. MAKES.

We can hear people
     walking on the sidewalk out
front, for example.

Oh yeah, I found out
     later that he was a huge
liar anyway.

whenever someone
     puts ketchup on their hot dog,
i loudly judge them.

Yet nobody cares
     enough to encourage more
men to go to school.

Everything about
     the mission was fantastic
and had me pumped up.

It's very comfy
     I find. [deleted] Nothing
less than beautiful.

Drug use was there too.
     It was a prison, it was
to be expected.

Even without stats.
     stats need to be really high
to use something else.

Yeah but with any
     tourist you can always do
the wrong decisions.

The kind of agent
     you talk to will depend on
what you mean by "huge".

It was fun as shit.
     He said the plan is to do
one every Friday.

DAMN!!!! What reasonable
     person would support putting
GORE on the package.

I grew up on old
     school monster movies, this is
like a dream come true.

No shit! So freaks just
     congregate there naturally?
Im sorry, i won't.

Please? Even when you're
     right, you're annoying as fuck.
Just... stop existing?

Even when you're right,
     you're annoying as fuck. Just...
stop existing? Please?

It's a fucking shame.
     [deleted] That sink isn't
properly vented.

This player new what
     those rules are when he signed his
letter of intent.

Violation or
     not adhering to the rules
have consequences.

I find that to be
     very disrespectful on
both his and her end.

It's almost like they're
     having a TOAST with the chips...
...I'll show myself out.

Anything. As long
     as you can perform well, you
can carry your team.

There are rules you know,
     rules that have consequences.
Who are you really?

That's why Romney, that's
     why Ryan, that's why the whole
crazy primary.

In America,
     you can only vote if you
are a citizen.

Just hidden. :P You
     might be right... BUT COME ON MAN!
LASERS! SPACE BATTLES!

At the same time it's
     not a complete break away
from his register.

This doesn't apply
     to LOL tho since there
is no gambling scene.

The patch is not out
     until tomorrow so you
can't download it yet.