Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 469 of 1746

Haiku #51577

There's also something
     called a DWI:
Driving While Impaired.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51578

[deleted] Boring!
     Would you really want to sit
in a Tim's for hours?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51579

You've just given me
     more belief in people. Fact:
Coconuts have hair.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51580

Ha! I imagine
     you looking like The Edge from
U2 with that thing on.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51581

Even though I am
     ginger, I can actually go
outside in the sun!

Score: 0          

Haiku #51582

Once bitten, twice shy.
     That will start putting pressure
on the other banks.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51583

To be fair, she has
     spent most of her life in just
that kind of household.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51584

I believe I went
     to other zones and came back
to that one later.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51585

Here they're cutting down
     children's book publications
to almost nothing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51586

That running game made
     Steve Slaton look amazing
once upon a time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51587

I've been trying to more
     rigorously exercise,
just lacking the time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51588

Leave me alone." He's
     at work so I am going
to leave him alone.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51589

I told him I'll leave
     you alone for now but I'm
not going away.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51590

*twitch* BOOT Nobody
     likes to see other people
have it easier.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51591

No, technically what
     he said is that everyone
he's met has been male.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51592

and the older girl
     laughed and said, "you don't know what
lamb chops are made of?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51593

AN INTERCEPTION
     IS STILL TECHNICALLY A PASS.
Now this is Awesome.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51594

This is the problem
     I have with philosophy,
is statements like this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51595

But they bend when you
     transport it from the cutting
board to the freezer.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51596

If it is something
     else she said it would show up
in the next few days.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51597

Which after her bath
     and a story she went back
to sleep in till 5:30ish.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51598

But I personally
     prefer normal liquid or
mineral foundation...

Score: 0          

Haiku #51599

Are players gonna
     play worse because their coach has
confidence in them?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51600

I do the same thing
     and hope that a handicapped
person never knocks.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51601

One of our favorite
     dishes in Holland has horse
meat in it sometimes.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51602

[deleted] Holy
     shit is all I have to say
Only if you miss.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51603

Hey! My parents live
     in Marseille so I come back
here every summer.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51604

Is there anything
     in particular you would
like to know about?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51605

Please, do enlighten
     my mediocre mind then.
What does the OP mean?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51606

That or some actual
     corners, they seem hard to find
in my area.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51607

Exactly, it's just
     like sitting on your suitcase
to get it to close.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51608

I'm sure he'll love it.
     Richardson is such a great
addition as well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51680

How do you guys deal
     with having the coolest damn
job on the planet?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51681

that game is awesome!
     Sure they count more. But you don't
speak for all women.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51682

[deleted] How does
     leaving the hit sounds on like
that not drive you nuts?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51683

The scenario
     about bowling you mention
isn't comparable.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51684

I love GoT and want
     to talk about it and such
but not have it spoiled.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51685

Don't buy those. You can't
     diagnose a thing from low
side pressure only.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51686

YOUR TEAM CAN'T EVEN
     BEAT A PRISON RAP, SO YOU
SHOULDN'T BE TALKING!

Score: 0          

Haiku #51687

Why? lots of people
     smoke cannabis to relieve
something unpleasant.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51688

If you want a new
     picture or something you can
pay for a new one.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51689

Plus if it's not me
     with the weed there's no way I'm
doing anything.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51690

I could barely get
     to class, pushed loved ones away,
could barely function.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51691

I then proceeded
     to wipe the sweat of my brow...
Very shrewd, you're right.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51692

I encourage you
     to get used to using doc
and help commands. *Why!?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51693

Fuck. Even after
     I showed her the proof, she still
stuck to her logic.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51694

You don't have a good
     posting history in the sub
and for good reason.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51695

not the official
     valve servers Jesse. JESSE!
Now kill Chris Hardwick.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51696

A pretty bullshit
     statistic if you ask me.
It's called growing old.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51697

Mostly it comes down
     to your creativity
and resourcefulness.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51698

And obviously,
     being clinically depressed
doesn't help either.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51699

Instead of sticking
     to just a teaspoon, I buy
the olive oil spray.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51700

Nope, but I sure can
     make fun of people who say
stupid shit on it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51701

They can, but how much
     are you willing to go through
to do the fixing?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51702

You're in luck, they just
     asked him in an interview
if you were watching.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51703

She needs normalcy,
     she needs love, and she needs time
to figure things out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51704

It's just what I tell
     myself so I don't complain
about them as much.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51705

The implications
     about the legal system
are what are frightening.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51706

You've demonstrated
     time and again that you like
to see men suffer.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51707

Ever consider
     getting one that is attached
to your eye muscles?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51708

As demonstrated,
     it is designed to be laid
flat during freezing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51709

Yeah, actually. Wow, look
     at this, I can't believe what
I have created.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51710

I have a nasty
     tendency to throw pity
parties for myself.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51711

You can't have your cake
     and eat it. etc..
Dude, you're a bigot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51712

various scars from
     wood chopping mishaps nothing
requiring stitches.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51713

I've got this thing, but
     am struggling to find a good
place to learn BASIC.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51714

Interesting that you
     should mention the hymen not
tearing properly.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51715

Shoe on head, or bust.
     Let's just hope that Witch Doctors
get the buff they need.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51716

You will probably want
     to do that after you use
up the warranty.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51717

You can say that you
     don't tolerate it, but you're
still with him, aren't you?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51718

i never went more
     than a week without flashing
something new, or old.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51719

Anything I am
     wrong about, I'm sorry, but
I am trying to learn.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51720

I wound up shouting
     "YOU'RE BLOCKING THE ROAD" at him
to get him to move.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51721

Ooh, that's a good one.
     The answer is right before
the word donated.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51722

Is there any word
     on what the new base speed is
going to be? No.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51724

Maybe she is trying
     to feel good about herself
and her parenting.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51725

You should totally
     have gone for a glowing red
terminator eye.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51726

The effects of age
     on maturity decrease
as you grow older.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51727

[deleted] Not too
     far away from sagebrush is
the beer and wine place.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51728

You do understand
     that we communicate through
vibration too right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51729

Thanks for the question!
     It's a cliche, but my son.
He is my delight.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51730

But you can also
     pull off some pretty cool builds
if you work with it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51731

Oh and then the old
     "millionaires screw everyone
over," attitude.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51732

What about her do
     you like, other than the sex?
Does she make you laugh?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51733

At the company
     where I work we play this game
when we go for lunch.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51734

My point, however,
     was that every angle needs
to be considered.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51735

If you read someone
     elses mind when they're reading
yours, what do you hear....?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51736

Yeah I plan on it.
     This was sort of a test run
on the cheap one first.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51737

My friend took a ride
     in my other friends mostly
stock Honda Prelude.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51738

This is the biggest
     and number one thing I think
I should start off with.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51739

But, I'm not a dick.
     That one time when they're fighting
is pretty cool, too.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51740

I'm pretty sure if
     you stiff waiters on tips, you
WILL look like a dick.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51741

Noticed this a few
     days ago, not bad, but was
hitting next that hard?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51742

So if that's his thing
     he may want to hit the road
if he can't do it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51743

Not sure if you guys
     already made a date or
not though. I hear ya.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51744

Alternately, you
     can use the command console
to unlock these quests.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51745

Ooh that's slower than
     my Internet connection!
/sarcasm Whoopee!

Score: 0          

Haiku #51747

And if you ever
     get sick from the nicotine
I hear sugar helps.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51748

You're cute when you make
     comparisons like lawyers
and paralegals.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51749

This is what I planned:
     (Not shown here, the steps to show
that humans evolved).

Score: 0          

Haiku #51750

I still haven't found
     out how they suggest money
should be created.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51751

Thus the man pictured
     is committing a double
faux pas. I concur.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51752

[deleted] Skateboard
     Dude takes it all the way up
to the next level.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51753

Its plan is almost
     ready to hatch and it has
prepared itself well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51754

That may be true, but
     he really impressed me when
he finished Miller.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51755

Unfortunately,
     they're just becoming fewer
and further between.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51756

I think it's awesome.
     Incognito. How do you
not know about this?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51757

Many people think
     that "pushing the handlebar"
means hard pushing down.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51758

Do you have any
     hiring capabilities
in your company?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51760

If it works, you can
     really stomp your opponent;
if not, you will fail.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51761

My dad was joking
     around with them the whole time
on the way downtown.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51762

Even it it will
     take decades to get there. Wow...
my condolences.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51763

At this stage i am
     solo camping but i am
trying to join a camp.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51764

[deleted] Prestige
     Worldwide fuck that. People need
to get their words right.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51765

If there was, I can't
     think of it so it's probably
not used in practice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51766

It's not that it takes
     more energy, its that you
wake up more often.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51767

shut the fuck up Most
     jokes aren't funny if you think
about them enough.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51768

Lot's of fun with both
     teams trying their hardest to cap
and hold positions.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51769

It's pretty decent
     for the damage it does, but
I loathe the graphics.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51770

You're a lucky guy!
     People pitch on top of old
yeast cakes all the time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51771

Vinyl Scratch for me.
     She is just about parties
and awesome music.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51772

The food came, and then
     I sat there and watched him eat
his big juicy steak.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51773

and was elected
     to lead Canada, not fight
for a free Quebec.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51774

There are even some
     cities that say usa
after them a lot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51775

Oh cool, thanks. I guess
     I underestimated
this game's user base.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51776

But they would also
     give room to Acer and Dell
to undercut them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51777

Maybe it's their weird
     ass smiles, or possibly their
creepy demeanor.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51778

I liked everything
     else, but for me, I just don't
like panda people.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51779

The only difference
     is that it was slightly more
annoying to do.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51780

Other than that, it's
     really hard to tell what would
work on the big screen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51781

[deleted] Upgrade
     your keyboard experience
to mechanical.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51782

While brevity is
     the soul of wit, gravity
is the soul of weight.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51783

That's exactly how
     I feel every time I've sat
in that upper deck.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51784

Exactly. How. You.
     Feel. Don't let anyone tell
you any different.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51785

This is a mistake
     that many try to pawn off
on other people.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51786

I didn't know I could
     portray sarcasm through text.
I apologize.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51787

Feminism has
     just taught people that it is
bad to be different.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51788

He absolutely
     could have avoided punching
the guy. It's assault.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51789

Sponges repulse me,
     and it can be difficult
for me to use them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51790

It's not the leading
     theory, it's followers are
just the most vocal.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51792

When enemies move
     to mid or close range I switch
to the Piranha.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51793

One need to save banks
     vital to the system, not
every single one.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51794

Android already
     has some desktop features, like
mouse support, correct?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51795

Respect to the best
     Jonah Jameson possible
and Willam Defoe.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51796

Lamenting the time
     when I wasn't having sex
or masturbating?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51797

That's gross. I'm going
     to assume they think bugs aren't
animals either?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51798

Obviously his
     endurance is sacrificed
because of his size.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51799

That'll do." Giant
     Panda or Giant Panda
Guerilla Dub Squad?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51800

Fox News plays that "fair
     and balanced" line all the time,
and what does it do?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51801

In the far background
     is the oldest cell, the one
forming an anvil.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51802

Everyone I know
     absolutely hates it but
I think it's great fun.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51803

A guy in college
     argued that the albatross
isn't a real bird.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51804

Good reading right there
     If you think I'm 'defending
myself', you're a cunt.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51806

I like all music
     but I love irish music
and rockabilly!

Score: 0          

Haiku #51807

Getting knocked out would
     probably make you feel groggy
and tired all day.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51808

I don't understand
     the OP story, what was her
logic behind it?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51809

True, but it seems like
     something Jeremy would say
that James would correct.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51810

Though perhaps under
     attack means something different
to Americans?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51811

What a lucky guy!
     Liechtenstein? Are you guys Mac
or PC users?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51812

I really can't wait
     for summer to be over,
if you catch my drift.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51813

People have this strange
     sense of entitlement on
both sides of the coin.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51814

I would recommend
     *The Haunting,* *Legend of Hell
House* or even *Jaws*.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51815

I thought I was too
     big with the girl i'm with turns
out she was nervous.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51816

[deleted] I'm not
     sure I understand what you
mean by street by street?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51817

Tommy asks Kathy
     to stop the car, he gets out
and just starts screaming.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51818

Probably we'll just keep
     going like this until it's
too late to have kids.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51819

I'm sorry you had
     to endure that kind of life,
it must have been rough.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51821

I'd say your first step
     is definitely talking
to him about it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51822

It feels as it is
     not your machine anymore
and you have no say.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51823

[deleted] If you
     administer a plan, you
get a list of claims.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51824

AND THAT WOULD FUCKING
     MATTER IF IT WAS COMMON
STOCK YOU IDIOT.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51895

Is it possible
     to restore your computer
to a month ago?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51896

What is it that *you*
     think sets humans apart from
other forms of life?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51897

I have to believe
     that because otherwise you're
painfully stupid.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51898

No cat can resist.
     How would he know your friend was
from New Mexico?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51899

He's made excellent
     hires and had some impressive
recruiting classes.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51900

My shift manager
     asked why a college boy would
work at the warehouse.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51901

Chinese citizens
     returning from abroad can
have a second child.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51902

Someone put a big
     wheel there and it has been left
alone as a joke.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51903

i also prefer
     to be more discreet about
who i have sex with.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51904

Except Randy Lenz.
     I hope I haven't met him.
Because it's stupid.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51905

I did the math on
     how much the recommended
yarn would cost and yikes!

Score: 0          

Haiku #51906

You will most likely
     post nude pictures of yourself
under a new guise.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51907

Unfortunately
     with the current sword glitch, people
haven't brought this up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51908

It's an even more
     drastic change than nervous kurt
and confident kurt!

Score: 0          

Haiku #51909

Keep the weightless ones
     (decoration), sell the packs
and cartons for cash.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51910

I'm still trying to find
     the fine line between genius
and insanity.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51911

Not sure if Hayden
     Christensen. [deleted] There
is no "playing games".

Score: 0          

Haiku #51913

solid argument.
     Yep! We were very passive
but anxious listeners.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51914

Not disagreeing
     that those shows aren't excellent
in and of themselves...

Score: 0          

Haiku #51915

[deleted] Fuck me,
     that is the most amazing
thing I've ever seen.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51916

I work at Chuck E
     Cheese too, the video is
burned into my brain.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51917

What the hell were you
     doing to get so many
people to hate you?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51918

I had to return
     home two days ago, and I've
been feeling empty.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51919

Seriously, you're
     not the first (or last) Mommy
to drop the baby.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51920

I did get girl once.
     [deleted] I only use
this account at work.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51921

As an accounting
     student, im glad i had him
for bio. Added!

Score: 0          

Haiku #51922

Time is relative.
     Bacon, is not. [deleted]
An olympic sport?

Score: 0          

Haiku #51923

There is my sorrow!
     When I see them on the street
I nod, and pass by.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51924

I went on a date
     with a guy I'd met online
who seemed pretty cool.

Score: 0          

Haiku #51925

ALSO, SCREW YOUR COACH.
     YES! ALL CAT ABUSERS SHOULD
BE EXTRADITED!

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:28 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.