Reddit Haikus

I would say you would
     look amazing with some more
muscle on your frame.

Gross. Not at my house
     He wasn't that committed
in the beginning.

The noise it makes wen
     activated is enough
to scatter a crowd.

My boobs are bigger
     still but that's probably because
I'm still breastfeeding.

Just a few basics,
     or an extensive amount
ala Dwarf Fortress?

Am I a "sad sad
     human being" for taking
that into account?

I'm genuinely
     interested I can't believe
this made the front page.

My first thought was New
     South Wales, in Australia, though
I may be wrong. Er.

[deleted] ^^^^Holy
     ^^^^hell, ^^^^I ^^^^actually ^^^^live ^^^^right ^^^^near
^^^^Burnley ^^^^:''''D Yes please!

A good friend of mine
     would always call and ask if
he never heard back.

If not, there's nothing
     "fucked up" about removing
some of the slack. Damn!

No, I have better
     things to do than make up tests
for my SO to pass.

They were teasing him,
     but in a comedic way,
not in a mean way.

Before we finish
     do you have any questions
you'd like to ask us?

But remember, you
     always get matched with people
on your skill level.

Ended up being
     atheist, after a long
and honest journey.

So it has to be
     explicitly installed on
user's computer.

I don't even like
     chief, I just like to point out
flaws in characters.

Either do search, OR
     specify in more detail
what you want to learn.

I did it because
     I know it will bug the shit
out of you. it's great.

Yeah right. Do you know
     what the main difference between
our special needs is?

Universities
     chastise those who pass others
work off as their own.

I just spent my first
     week living in Amsterdam
[moved from Canada].

I was horrified
     and disgusted with myself
after that movie.

If its anything
     like crystal meth, I'm happy
to give it a whirl.

The anxiety
     creeps up every now and then
but it's very brief.

So come rapture time,
     Nevada and Alaska
will be left standing.

it's one of those roles
     that make you appreciate
the skill of acting.

Still in the closet.
     My friend punched me in the face
when we were lifting.

We must wield this tool
     thoughtfully and carefully,
but wield it we must.

All he has to do
     is heal quick enough to be
able to come back.

Race is a strange thing.
     Lol yeah, because that's
how baby's are made.

You get excited
     to hear that? You must be new.
How do you figure?

And yet I've watched porn
     featuring those themes at one
time or another.

Didn't turn out too bad.
     Had to have one root canal
and a crown fitted.

You will have better
     power transfer that something
with a lot of flex.

Don't let that happen
     because those practitioners give
the field a bad name.

Hello Kitty, quotes
     from a favorite author, cat
pictures, whatever.

[deleted] I do
     feed her, but I am also
the one that grooms her.

"Let. Us. Fuck!" There is
     another glitch that could be
happening in this case.

That was the one thing
     at which I paused a little
when I read the list.

It's easy to talk
     about hypothetical
lost jobs in this way.

Its it actually less
     likely for a female guard
to be charged with rape?

Sorry Mate, I'm on
     the West Coast and have never
really traveled there..

you asked, I answered.
     If you don't like the answer,
don't ask the question.

Or satisfying.
     Rage is pretty amusing
to watch from safety.

Grow up. It appears
     you and I consumed the same
literature, huh.

You will simply raised
     their income but decreased their
purchasing power.

It's not that sits not
     true, it's that ignores others
parts of the issue.

Well I really do
     hope you read all of my post,
which it seems you didn't.

There was a major
     migration in consulting
firms decades ago.

And obese people.
     The bigger they are, the more
damage they've accrued.

Because everyone
     knows cats need encouraging
to be more lazy.

Except, it's within
     the rules, and you kinda just
have to deal with it.

You didn't really give
     any reason as to why
you choose to own guns.

Like photography,
     it's rewarding to practice
and see improvement.

I don't remember
     exactly what, but she works
in a hospital.

They refused service
     and the community stops
patronizing them.

That's the cost of two
     and a half American
teachers for two years.

In the specific
     instances that I named, yes.
Those were achievements.

It's a good thing. Darn,
     I've given myself away
as a southern girl.

That means that you should
     always be doing well, or
at least not feeding.

You won't win every
     game, but you will win much more
often than you lose.

Tell anyone who
     will listen about how smart
little Susie is!

Everyone else would
     run but my feet would always
be stuck to the floor.

He might have gotten
     his views from there, I don't know
and I never will.

This could be really
     useful, what android wallet
would you recommend?

Philosophical
     terms and arguments all strive
for simplicity.

I love learning, but
     getting up so early was
always terrible.

If Jesse burnt down
     the house, he would be hurting
Walt and his family.

Fucking shit, I can't
     figure out why I love boobs
so much now. Dammit.

Like I said, its all
     in the interpretation.
What is that prize fund?

Seriously, if
     you're weren't a giant fucking
douche, Middle School sucked.

Hormones make you bloat,
     Hormones make you sad, Hormones
make you feel helpless.

Or if he or his
     family laugh and carry on
when the dog does it.

wow stole my post wow
     ok Speaking of that rogue
mother fuck, he spawned.

First time in months, first
     time kicking his ass in months,
he doesn't drop shit.

Gareth Barry looks
     like a very good looking
man in that photo.

[deleted] This is
     one of the most depressing
things I've ever read.

Dude it's probably used
     for scoring the top of bread
dough before baking.

Forgotten Ancient,
     Crucible of Worlds, Vanish
into Memory.

I can't imagine
     that everyone in Britain
used to speak like this.

That's very common.
     It happens for two reasons:
1)Your friends stop coming.

"I would personally
     say it's the best at cleaning
up what's left behind.

it's my dream to roll
     up in a car next to him
and shout ADRIAN.

You have a million
     different personalities
and vibes from brigades.

We should focus on
     teaching English and Irish
in primary school.

*Now he bad news* Well
     that sure took a huge left turn.
What does cum taste like?

Good thing Microsoft
     licensed the Nokia brand
for the next decade.

Maybe, probably less
     likely, but if so they'd be
idiots as well.

Every other day
     seems perfectly reasonable,
just not right for me.

The whole "geek chic" trend
     feels like being mocked rather
than celebrated.

Im cut and I still
     never lube up [deleted]
It's psychology.

Exiting. You can
     answer that question without
involving a girl.

This conversation
     is far too English for me,
I want to go home!

No guess work involved
     and its information straight
from the horses mouth.

Most of this sub is
     running pants not yoga pants...
It hardly matters.

He can protect his
     family, conquer his neighbors,
fear less and gain more.

holy hell that is
     brutal, thanks for showing me
this seriously.

I've got to get one
     :O I love comcast, what are
you talking about.

they are already
     at melee range), depending
on who started first.

is it contagious?
     should I visit the doctor
after watching this?

Hint: None. They outright
     rejected my love of sci
fi and horror films.

The need to punish.
     I am certainly staying
away from marriage.

But they didn't even
     shave my pubic area.
Just my upper thigh.

Excellent! I can
     name many more white cheeses
than yellow, I think.

A free agent is
     free to sign for another
few months I believe.

It's just an awesome
     series whether or not you
like Batman I think.

Until recently
     I've had serious issues
with my penis size.

SOMEBODY HELP THOSE
     PEOPLE!! but does it harvest
cosmic energy?

*Your* CD player?
     You got it for your birthday.
You didn't work for it.

I have amazing
     games with my Latin, Russian
and Brazilian friends!

An organism
     may not evolve further if
there is no need to.

Dunno what the hell
     I could've done if he'd shown
up, but there you go.

Well, maybe not great
     on whole, but he certainly
got laid a fair bit.

Touche' Probably makes them
     look better under a store's
fluorescent lighting.

But you were really
     kind even though you did not
have to be. Thank you.

He thinks you're a sure
     thing and is wondering if
he can do better.

I'm exactly like
     you and I strongly believe
there are more like us.

As anyone who
     wakes up like that, I sat up
for a bit in bed.

The only guy on
     the Packers defense people
know is Clay Matthews.

One of these days I'll
     get a better camera than
my phone heh. Maybe.

Has it's ups and downs.
     I wonder who would actually
brag about it, though.

When was the last time
     you saw trees on a landing
strip next to a house?

In the southern US
     you can get red cream soda
or clear cream soda.

Creatures with double
     strike do first strike damage, then
regular damage.

You're probably ok
     since that was the only thing
you ate for the day.

Jordi Alba trying
     to stay on his feet I was
hoping for speed holes.

(Wired) You plug it in.
     Then you tell the game you are
using a game pad.

I prefer a soft
     layer that a lot of real
skinny girls don't have.

You merely pick up
     the pieces, clean up, usher
away the stragglers.

As if those wouldn't
     be the first things to go when
the Tomahawks fly.

check this site out guys
     I did it once... ONCE! It must
have been a fluke too.

(Surprise) Whites are not
     born already better than
every black person.

[deleted] As would
     I. I tried to put a cute
pillow on it, though!

In F1 decisions
     and reactions have to be
made in split seconds.

They were all pencil
     thin back then because portion
sizes were tiny.

I don't think they give
     fleet basing rights, but they do
let you park your ships.

thanks, keep 'em coming!
     I'm pretty sure the dog was
thinking the same thing.

I can practically
     hear the leaping fish flopping
back into the lake.

It's just that older
     people enjoy the stories
and games that they play.

Yeah. Those three short years
     Larry Bird coached the team were
our best years imo.

Be a good brother
     and beat the shit out of him.
Then get him some help.

It's like the chicken
     and egg thing, but probably much
more complicated.

the old version will
     stay up though too, some people
did really like it.

If you ever fuck
     with some ones food, you should be
fired on the spot.

Yup, just as I thought.
     You have nothing, so all you
can do is insult.

The one time I mess
     with some stupid idiot
who says he can hack!!

Red velvet cake, I'd
     have to close my eyes, it's too
important to me.

People should really
     be getting more excited
about Eriksen.

Is this what the Death
     from Bill and Ted is based on?
Sort of similar.

I feel like these two
     points are directly at odds
with one another.

It works with what they're
     trying to do, but it really
confused me at first.

Also, is the right
     front fender dented, or is
that a reflection?

but really they want
     to be treated like a friend
and human being.

If she won't fuck her.
     Not worth your time and she has
already moved on.

TIL two sandstone half
     slabs on top of each other
makes chiseled sandstone.

I pray that we are
     not the only people you
have confided to.

I have. I'm talking
     about those who never will
because they don't know.

My guess is the Blue
     Lady is Mary before
she was corrupted.

What happens, and how
     you respond to that happening
are different questions.

We would ride our bikes
     all around town at this age...
'twas a simpler time.

Does the players need
     to create accounts and log
in to submit scores?

If it weren't for you,
     I really would have gone through
all of the trouble.

Scavenging Ooze has
     no triggered abilities?
Well, no one's perfect...

So they were making
     their own things on a sewing
machine or something.

Are you serious?
     What the fucking fuck... guys should
stay out of trouble...

I guess the guessing
     is a first watch novelty.
That's awesome, great find!

For some reason just
     hearing those is fantastic
to my ears. Good point.

Source: Work as a fire
     alarm technician. Edit:
Clarification.

It was doubly weird
     cause I knew neither of us
had money back then.

you should change your post
     to reflect the current price, not
the price that you paid.

It probably messed up
     the suspension, but it was
great fun for us kids.

The interface will
     definitely be streamlined
in the near future.

For now, we wanted
     to get it up and running.
Thanks for the feedback.

Elementary schools
     keep it warm because it makes
the kids less hyper.

The bottom feeders
     are going to need more than
just algae wafers.

He told them they can
     either pick up all the glass,
or never come back.

It has actually been
     incredibly useful when
I'm with new partners.

As an Englishman
     this makes me sad. Inside Man.
The Italian Job.

I'd prefer not to.
     Also I have friends who still
work in there. Good friends.

Corn based cereal
     already smells like cardboard.
Exactly my thoughts.

You mentioned further
     in the thread that one shouldn't
edit their own work.

[deleted] Either
     go farther with the "formal
sex" joke or drop it.

Do your stuff. It can
     be the weirdest thing ever
for your love for god.

If you suggested
     boiling a crab there you'd be
kicked out of the state.

This doesn't even
     cover the cost of one months
website hosting fees.

This receiver has
     been massively reinforced
along all stress points.

Yeah, if that's why you
     think you got shipped to Iraq,
think again, Rambo.

I don't have kids but
     if I did, I think I'd wait
to let them watch that.

Have you played Blacklist?
     It's nothing like what happened
to Absolution.

No, its like saying
     he would have to learn to do
more with scalpel no.

But overall you're
     right it's situational
and is hard to use.

Meanwhile, people don't
     realize that it's really not
anything special.

Always good to see
     someone else who remembers
Mashed! I love that game!

Just make sure there aren't
     any pages missing from
the end of the book.

But then you don't "want
     to have sex with everyone"
which OP says he does.

I think it's awkward
     if you're with the person who
does this. The back door...

But that was only
     because she made such loud, strange
noises all night. "Funk"?

They are late, but it's
     rude to be on time in S.
Korea isn't it?

Hell, if anything
     we should be amiable
towards one another.