Reddit Haikus

You're looking at every haiku that occurred on a Reddit comment between December 2005 and October 2016 (10.8 years). Some intentional, most unintentional.

The haikus make up 24,450,805 (24.4 million) characters or 4,519,927 (4.5 million) words. For perspective, the entire Harry Potter series is 1,084,170 words. This is 4 times the size of all Harry Potter books combined. It would take the average person 390 hours and 50 minutes (16 days) to read them all.

The haikus were extracted from 2,718,784,464 (2.7 billion) comments across 416,729 unique subreddits for a total of 80,908,650,976 (80.9 billion) words.

These pages are regenerated every 1 hour with updated scores -- please browse and upvote/downvote away.

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Page 1491 of 1746

Haiku #197710

Not a facetious
     question, I really don't know.
But yeah, he's all class.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197711

Ah, Mazda. Key fob
     just needs to be in the car
in order to start.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197712

Asked them if they could
     take their dog shit inside or
into the dumpster.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197713

I appreciate
     his attempt to sound smart, but
the fact is, he's not.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197714

How? "Thanks, Obama"
     is double sarcasm, right?
"I stepped on a nail.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197715

My name is Derek
     and I wasn't invited
on any lunch date.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197716

Your sister's came down
     with a terrible sickness
or an accident.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197717

Vermont has a bunch
     that can be hiked to, but not
for rent for camping.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197718

How does one sign up
     to participate in these
"clinical studies"?

Score: 0          

Haiku #197719

Yea that's what we've been
     doing but just haven't been
messing with the Knights?

Score: 0          

Haiku #197720

I really enjoy
     this game, which is a rare thing
for me nowadays.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197721

Redskins are getting
     used to playing the spoiler
and they play it well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197722

You don't ever want
     to be like everyone else,
just be who YOU are.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197723

I knew a girl back
     in high school that was legit
terrified of feet.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197724

They are just wanting
     to get a good job to keep
up with the Joneses.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197725

I could never wrap
     my head around realism
with colored pencils.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197727

That being said, how
     long did it ferment before
adding in the hops?

Score: 0          

Haiku #197728

I know I saw some
     around my house, but I can't
find them anymore.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197729

I don't think we've seen
     the last of Unedited
Footage of a Bear...

Score: 0          

Haiku #197730

[deleted] they asked
     for it [deleted] Rampage
slammed that scorpion!

Score: 0          

Haiku #197731

Thanks. I can't really.
     Not without it blowing up
out of proportion.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197732

Definitely not.
     Honduras is far safer
and more beautiful.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197733

Dude, I'm just gonna
     say this, you really don't know
how statistics works.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197734

No idea yet
     how long it will remain fun,
but so far so good.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197735

So fucking stupid.
     People wanting government
to control their lives.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197736

This looks amazing,
     but the shitty narration
really put me off.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197737

It looks like trolling,
     and if it wasn't trolling
what would you expect?

Score: 0          

Haiku #197738

[deleted] We do
     not know what these addled Swedes
are talking about.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197739

You're right, but I still
     think he was in a pretty
decent spot to shoot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197740

The lawyer explains
     "Look; I am an attorney,
and I know the law.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197741

The farmer says "Oh,
     I'm a simple man; we don't
need to go to court.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197742

I don't know, I was
     too busy masterbating.
Are you in the crew?

Score: 0          

Haiku #197743

I called SCUBA gear
     or SCUBA diving, Shamu.
Why? No one is sure.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197744

It drives me crazy.
     On second thought, maybe he's
actually trolling me!

Score: 0          

Haiku #197745

As for group damage,
     this can be tricky since wild
growth has a cool down.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197746

8th. It isn't
     even close, the two nations
are in different leagues.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197747

Until OpTic wins
     all they will be is a top
team, not the best team.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197748

I had stopped playing
     for a month and when I came
back it was too late.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197750

I tend to agree
     but they made it a central
question of the show.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197751

Oh wow! I've been too
     shy to say anything up
until now, but I....

Score: 0          

Haiku #197752

And for every trade
     you make, think of the exit
plan BEFORE you trade.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197753

Whether that's legit
     or not, I'll never know, but
sometimes brand say it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197754

If it was a *goose*
     instead of a duck, I'd be
running for my life.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197755

Launch day turned out not
     to make a significant
difference after all.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197756

But not completely
     overthrow the communist
dictatorship there.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197757

You will learn so much
     about he process you are
about to go through.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197758

Such fucking cowards.
     I think that is cool to hate
micros, like lemmings.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197759

This was just a quick
     test, didn't put much thought into
refining it yet.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197760

So you basically
     admit to probably, maybe
being immature?

Score: 0          

Haiku #197761

They jelly. This is
     one of the only reasons
why I bought this game.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197762

Nah man, that's perfect.
     The ability capsule
will go to good use.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197763

If I ordered steak
     and they sent me chicken, I'm
gonna say something.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197976

My cordless drill just
     does not have the speed to get
real deep scratches out.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197977

It was completely
     silent hovering a foot or
two above the trees.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197978

Come on, I think you
     know perfectly well that that's
not what he's saying.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197979

First of all, I should
     point out that plenty isn't
the right word for it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197980

You see this person
     as a father daughter thing,
let him know just that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197981

That's literally all.
     I'd be fucking ecstatic
if it was that huge.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197982

They're boring. There are
     thousands of other things I'd
rather be doing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197983

Edit-- Oh, but that's
     probably way over budget
for this time of year.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197984

[deleted] I think
     their is another aspect
you may be missing.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197985

then you will realize
     that i was right about them
being scum as well.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197986

Yeah man just take some
     time to clear your mind that used
to happen to me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197987

If I *did* and not
     just could win one, I'd probably
end up selling it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197988

How long did it take
     you to start tripping and how
long did you trip for?

Score: 0          

Haiku #197989

You have some nice stuff
     for sale though, I might hit you
up after Christmas!

Score: 0          

Haiku #197990

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197991

Fail to save a life
     in the ER someday, and weigh
that against your C-.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197992

I read that as you
     scared off your dying neighbor
who was just stabbed. Dick.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197993

It was completely
     silent, hovering a foot or
two above the trees.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197994

It goes up and down.
     Take a look at the return
rates for all the funds.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197996

While really funny
     at the time, this has to be
some sort of fine right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #197997

Learning another
     language could, I suppose, save
this guys life some day.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197998

Will the resort be
     open, in good condition,
and tons of fun? Yes.

Score: 0          

Haiku #197999

The situation
     is solved now, it's been two days
and no accidents.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198000

It never even
     crossed my mind that his size could
be a deal breaker.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198001

If it's not something
     that you could replicate, then...
I don't really know.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198002

I guess pretty much
     exactly like Bill Cosby,
come to think of it.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198003

I was pretending
     to address the person who
*can* be blamed for this.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198004

Fuck me! I can't wait
     to see how good he is when
he hits puberty.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198005

Willingness to be
     there and to stay together
even when it's rough.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198006

More than a hand full
     is too much, but I have two
hands so its okay.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198007

I've actually really
     struggle with having any
sort of social life.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198008

Anyways, in all
     seriousness, what stuff do
you enjoy doing?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198009

I heard it came from
     X Files fans. This is fucking
awesome, dude. Well done!

Score: 0          

Haiku #198010

The average person
     does not do ten MPH
in a parking lot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198011

It is your mission
     to become the modern day
Robin Hood. i know!

Score: 0          

Haiku #198012

I read it before
     I watched the show and I still
said holy hell Yeah!

Score: 0          

Haiku #198013

Then they laugh at you.
     Then they laugh at you behind
your back. Then you lose.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198014

I didn't realizes
     there was a limited on
how much you can write.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198015

As an exotic
     primary auto it should
be far more useful.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198016

I saw a woman
     with inflammatory breast
cancer yesterday.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198017

neat SHUT UP AND TAKE
     MY GEMS Yes, and they are called
filthy casuals.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198018

I think it depends
     on what type of resources
are available.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198019

I accelerate
     at them, then brake right before
I hit them, then honk.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198020

Oh god. I hope you're
     not just blindly following
people's "real" advice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198021

What Bella said is
     the reason you aren't finding
groups at the moment.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198022

I guess he's up where
     he belongs now Crucible
is usually worse.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198023

What happens if you
     use the baking soda but
not the vinegar?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198024

My specialty is
     neutrino physics theory
and experiment.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198025

It's an undercut.
     You're recommending a fade.
Either might be nice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198026

This game still takes skill
     same as it ever did, it's
not about the grind.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198027

Promise. I've actually
     loaned and given him money.
I don't feel sorry.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198028

*except*. wow. I hope
     to one day venture up north
and see my square foot.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198029

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198030

"Oh!" St. Nick exclaimed,
     as he swung his jolly self
around to face me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198031

Being pretty new
     to cigars still I love trying
all these new flavors.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198032

They are still bigger.
     We are talking about size
not composition.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198034

No that is actually
     pretty amazing that you
can spot stuff like that!

Score: 0          

Haiku #198035

Once you put enough
     distance between yourselves they'll
usually give up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198036

The young man put down
     his cognac before meeting
the elder man's gaze.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198037

Go forth and don't waste
     another precious moment.
Be illustrious!

Score: 0          

Haiku #198038

You know you are well
     hydrated if your pee is
light yellow to clear.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198039

This doesn't taste like
     Crown Royal. This doesn't taste
like whiskey at all.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198040

Not surprisingly,
     there was a significant
cultural divide.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198041

Ham has a good half
     year and now they're talking shit
to everyone. Nice.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198042

Light top eyeliner
     without making it look harsh
will look great on you.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198043

I told my girlfriend
     when he made that save, "That's why
I bought HIS jersey."

Score: 0          

Haiku #198044

A thief A rapist
     "Fuck her right in the pussy"
No thanks Quit smoking?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198045

How many naked
     women does it take to do
the job of three men?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198046

We lost our little
     Enzo last week and it is
really difficult.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198047

Rome wasn't even
     in the game, but it felt like
what Carthage would do.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198048

I can still listen
     to a song and play along
without sheet music.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198049

I don't choose these thoughts,
     the thoughts happen by themselves.
How do I do this?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198050

Seems pretty humane,
     but then again you're crushing
the blood vessels so...

Score: 0          

Haiku #198051

This is the reason
     that I and many others
enjoyed it, I feel.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198052

You can then either
     get it fitted in store or
take it somewhere else.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198053

So you at the ANT
     or on the buoy tender
out there on Tongue Point?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198054

I'm really sorry
     you went through all of that man,
I'm truly sorry.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198055

What I'm saying is
     that the position you take
is unproductive.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198056

Anonymous had
     been rather quiet over
this event, actually.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198057

When you exercise,
     you are doing your future
self a huge favor.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198058

Because it's bullshit.
     You ever hear of people
lying for karma?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198059

I would like to help
     as much as possible, but
he doesn't want help.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198060

Look im go to real
     with you Are you sure that you
want a windows phone?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198061

Peace out!" Being closed
     *on* holidays is one thing,
this is another.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198062

I would like to say
     thank you for the naughty thoughts!
to each their own, right?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198063

So far no one has
     been able to knowingly
use it against me.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198064

Never let her back
     in again, for your own sake.
Because they are drunk.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198065

It's fine don't worry
     about it, I think I should
be on around then.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198066

Hello beautiful.
     Sweet dreams You'd think that would come
with the funny hat.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198067

Practice core control.
     Bring your pelvis to neutral
before the decent.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198068

Then he freaks out, thinks
     "OMG what do I do"
and calls Jay for help.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198069

Didn't know salt could be
     used on wood cutting boards too.
That is good to know.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198070

Thank you. I cant stop
     crying enough to say more
than thank you, right now.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198071

Hi, nice to meet you!
     How are you enjoying our
soggy December?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198072

There's something brown on
     the right corner of his mouth.
Oh God, is it shit?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198073

The comeback is real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     Zinga Can't forget bay street
bistro Oh would you?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198074

IMO, Capcom felt
     that Claire had grown out of it.
She's been though some shit.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198075

Please don't even think
     about settling until you
at least have a job.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198076

That poster is still
     right regardless of founding
father slave keeping.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198077

If that's true, I think
     I'll do what you said even
though my cam came back.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198078

Clearly he fucks her
     right considering the fact
that they are married.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198079

It is so worth it!
     Breaking bad Sometimes it bugs
out for some reason.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198080

That seems to imply
     that consciousness is free from
the constraints of time.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198081

Today's weapon gets
     trumped by tomorrows defense;
back and forth it goes.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198082

Am I the only
     one who loves all these "white noise"
sounds and hates silence?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198084

Stupid collapse, but
     major comeback effort by
the Flames. Great game, guys.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198085

When *I* was a kid
     we just figured these things out
on our own. Up hill.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198086

You slip up, you don't
     get berated but you don't
get coddled either.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198087

Holy fuck. I was
     friends with an identical
twin in middle school.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198088

If they actually cost
     the same (they don't), nobody
would buy an Accord.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198089

I'm sorry you had
     such a bad experience
Good luck everyone!

Score: 0          

Haiku #198090

I'm almost certain
     that I've heard enough of him
that I would catch that.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198091

I can never tell
     if they're actually bad now or
if it's just my tastes.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198092

This particular
     projector isn't great, but
is several years old.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198093

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198094

Should your paycheck go
     to my bank account unless
you opt out as well?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198095

And if so, how do
     you like it as a blanket?
Too thin? Too scratchy?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198096

How about finding
     "the one," or would I never
care enough to try?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198097

Nice I say- I say-
     that's just damn preposterous, boy!
maybe even RES!

Score: 0          

Haiku #198099

Please, find some more stand
     offs and just do it proper.
You'll be glad you did.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198100

When she asked me if
     this new avatar was gay
I was blown away.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198101

"Interceptions all
     night long" Didn't take much to (tap)
into that joke, eh?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198102

Thanks for the advice.
     I had no idea you
owned Beauty Skeptic.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198103

I introduced him
     first (thankfully) and read down
his sheet. He goes next.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198104

Hit it in a way
     that will make you laugh later
when you tell your friends.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198105

Meaning once a boy
     reaches manhood, he pretty
much does what he wants.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198106

The man who mastered
     the tracks treated the album
like a pop album.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198107

This game was intense
     and a hard fought battle down
the the last minute.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198108

Have you ever tried
     seeking help from the guidance
counselor at school?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198109

The newer versions
     seem to not have these issues,
so you should be fine.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198110

Let them get to know
     you and it should even out.
Garden of Eden.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198111

But they would probably
     get sued for defacing school
property and such.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198112

And I don't think it's
     very nice of you to call
someone a cupcake.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198113

Fuck LA and go STAMPS!
     My highest average ever
since 1A, feels good man.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198114

He gives a deep bow,
     holding it for a moment,
and straightens back up.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198115

What a fucking game.
     Sorry to everyone who
tuned out of the game.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198116

FUCKING. THE. RAIDERS.
     I get the sentiment, but
that's not what they said.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198186

Its not amazing,
     but its nice, I keep coming
back to that same mix.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198187

That sounds like fun, if
     perhaps slightly less tasty
than I imagined.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198188

That's fair, I suppose.
     What if your secret santa
got you a puppy?

Score: 0          

Haiku #198189

There was a phone there;
     the man didn't remember what
the ring sounded like.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198190

Also, elephants.
     where can I get those glasses?
Perfect for a rave.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198191

Perfect for a rave.
     Porn music playing for house
that looks like porn set.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198192

Lost my shit So were
     the Lions when he came in.
Don't ever wear them.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198193

You needn't worry
     about that, it's really not
even on their mind.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198194

The same people put
     themselves on the chopping block
for entertainment.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198195

That's not an answer.
     I don't believe that money
can buy you those things.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198196

As long as there are
     just cuts and bruises, who cares?
It was a great game.

Score: 0          

Haiku #198197

Wait, how unlucky
     that a missing person ends
up being found dead??

Score: 0          


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Page updated on Saturday Dec 17, 2022 08:00:29 PM PDT.

A Cyrus snafu.