Reddit Haikus

No true scotsman should
     be avoided is all I'm
saying Excellent!

If you already
     have a cat or a ferret,
feed it what it needs.

If you have nothing
     helpful to add, we ask you
to not post at all.

Sad some Latvian
     have automobile, but no
eat automobile.

If I take a stray
     cat to the emergency
vet, who gets the bill?

I can't remember
     relating to a female
teacher in high school.

You should have practiced
     the latter without leaving
the former undone.

I hope he gets more
     action than War Machine has
been given so far.

He gestures his arm,
     indicating that he would
like Dan to come in.

He's very good. Well,
     the good thing about this is
you can always wait!

I don't think they bite.
     Maybe it would kick them or
swing its head at them?

I was just happy
     MS gave me such an easy
name to make fun of.

As for steam, not sure.
     It ain't easy bein' cheesy
Why not in China?

It was a seldom
     traveled road so there was no
oncoming traffic.

On another note,
     what benefits have you gained
from quitting coffee?

Never have to take
     the kitty litter droppings
out ever again.

Radio stations
     have to license their music
like everyone else.

[deleted] Hang out
     in Discovery Park or go
down to Seward Park.

"Indiana Jones
     and the Sunken Empire"
Nah, I don't stalk you.

Didn't get a parent
     to sign your agenda? Strike.
Other dumb shit? Strike.

That, and they're a lot
     better of a bang for buck.
Cool, thanks for sharing.

They are videos
     that are supposed to relax
you using calm sounds.

If these didn't work, I'd
     be a famous author or
inventor by now.

[deleted] No cops
     should do bad because they can,
accidents aside.

With the C3 tech trees
     are mostly stumps, while you seem
to have actual trees.

it's starts being slow,
     unresponsive, starts shooting
rockets randomly.

I wish I could dunk
     any phone that wasn't set
to vibrate for texts.

All the while squirming
     on the ground much like the guy
in the video.

Plus it will confuse
     people who then say "but her
eyes are unequal...".

Also I never
     had a session where I didn't
get any upgrades.

But I thought only
     the scary Iranians
could be the bad guys!

They will surprise you.
     call me crazy but i see
sean bean... Worked for me.

The PC scene grew
     with the ascent of the x86
processor numbers.

She called a friend who
     was a teacher at the school
and got some intel.

Totally forgot
     about the little robot
until I saw it.

Well of course that didn't
     work as it was a storm surge
and not rain flooding.

We encouraged them
     to question authority
and ask hard questions.

The event then kept
     going all weekend, well past
the required amount.

There are actually some
     people who constructively
flame, such as myself.

I do not see where
     that could go wrong in any
way whatsoever.

The fact that you do
     that every time makes me laugh
so hard. I love it.

He said it doesn't
     matter because i would fail
the class either way.

Oh man, if you hate
     trial and error, do NOT go
into bio then.

All I see are ropes,
     and that hardly justifies
calling something cruel.

[deleted] Ahh but
     did you see the prices on
the menu in french?

Just to clear this up,
     Mexico just passed the us
as fattest country.

How often do you
     guys have sex and can I watch?
For science, of course.

Three scoreless innings
     from Withrow means three shameless
shots for me. WHO'S IN!?

If you really do
     need a masters, your job will
pay you to do it.

This has basically
     reinforced that I will not
let dogs near my face.

I've been to the beach
     and in lakes and in the bush,
and I'm still alive.

Migrating a whole
     bunch of poor people from one
place to another.

Don't fight anyone
     unless you expect to get
hit back at least once.

Next gun owners do
     need to always keep weapons
away from children.

I think that's why most
     people elect to make hats
rather than weapons.

Tom Cruise Absolute
     monarchy is the only
way out. Mischievous.

Dodgers better score
     this inning or we'll see League!
no prob and thank you!

If I wanted some
     comeback, I'd have your mom go
scrape it off her teeth.

I hope other Best
     Buy's haven't done this as well.
Nope. Sounds. I'll punch 'em!

No it's not better.
     I think that they will vote out
Elissa this week.

As someone who has
     been on one of these before,
let me say, it sucks.

But most of all stop
     saying that you don't think you'll
ever meet someone.

It also helps me
     to view situations from
different perspectives.

But it's like your mind
     says "hey, remember you did
said that stupid thing?

Installing a sink
     in the garage or a home
depot chest freezer.

[deleted] It's hard
     to complain really, I guess
the end of the shoot.

When I was growing
     up in my house, my bedroom
windows faced our street.

Usually people
     new to lifting get great gains
in the first few months.

If a bunch of those
     happen in a row, the price
could see a big drop.

But every helmet
     I've had before or worn since,
I've needed a large.

[deleted] That's why
     I always hated the time
travel episodes.

But. That is nothing
     compared to seeing someone
get hit by a car.

If the Bulls gave him
     nothing to work with except
for fat Shaq probably.

*I mean this shit is
     fucking ridiculous* Near
Grand Prairie, are you?

I am nowhere near
     Canada. *-And anyone
know [what this place is?

Every. Fucking. Time.
     And yes I like fried chicken.
Who the fuck doesn't?

Having more than two
     hundred pages of proofs would
be quite a paper.

Really? I'm fairly
     upset it took me this long
to find this response...

If you are being
     asked to submit and you don't
want to you can leave.

I love sex. I like
     the noise, the view, the feeling
and the sensation.

Yay I've been checking
     for months to see if someone
made this a sub yet!

You are pretty much
     guaranteed to be bleeding
if you fall on one.

I highly doubt you'd
     see general of the army
grabbing a starbucks.

WHAT KIND OF WORLD DO
     WE LIVE IN NOW!! Nice duck face
there, Kit I don't know.

Wow man, why aren't you
     cool and not use good players
like me? You try hard!!1!

Agreed. Nike does
     awesome uniforms, I don't
disagree with that.

That says Oregon.
     Green and yellow. At least use
our colors. Charcoal?

I've heard conflicting
     things on this, but I'm pretty
sure this isn't true.

Do you tell people
     to kill themselves when you are
having a bad game?

No threat of house fire.
     It was electrical noise
in the neutral line.

Is it just because
     you want to win all the games
regardless of skill?

Some of those people
     still have sex, so I don't think
that would work for me.

Not to be rude, but
     I fail to see how doing
this makes me a dick.

That sounds amazing.
     It would be like a frozen
peppermint patty.

"neighborhood cats" are
     only fun for cat people.
I prefer purple.

Pay off student loans.
     Pay off Mom's & brother's debts.
Buy some rural land!

I almost bought one
     because I wanted one cheap
and it was on sale.

This must be that two
     hour lets play they were talking
about lol.

here comes the 14th.
     Are you kidding me?! That first
picture is STUNNING!

Jesus will be all
     like, whoever is without
sin cast the first stone.

That first picture is
     STUNNING! How could anyone
be rude about that?

I don't know why, but
     now I understand the top
part of the photo.

I thought this was cringe.
     Bell's is awesome but I can't
get it where I live.

Oh, dammit, how did
     I miss this til now?? I love
you so freaking much!!!

Came back and they searched
     our whole car like we were trying
to smuggle something.

You'd be totally
     disgusted with your country.
See all that water?

It wasn't funny
     the first time, it will never
be funny. Agreed.

If you want to get
     started quickly, I would work
on certificates.

It's a fat person
     unhappy about their weight
and I'm trying to help.

Kid flips out, the signs
     say bad words for half an hour
or so, life goes on.

artists generate
     the bulk of their revenue
through live venue shows.

Because ~~Tony Stark~~
     Robert Downy Jr. *is*
Iron Man to me.

Someone gave me gold
     once and I didn't even know
what to do with it.

Not enough forehead
     to be Benoit and those arms
are just too damn long.

You're left handed?" Nah,
     my handwriting is just much
worse with my right hand.

Fair enough. If our
     roles were reversed, I'd probably
react the same way.

You basically pinch
     up the tip of the foreskin
and then urinate.

I guess he really
     wants to get some game action
in before the break.

but but a Swedish
     prosecutor would never
do anything wrong.

I killed one of these
     years ago because it scared
the shit out of me.

A lot of times those
     u's in the middle of words
sound almost silent.

However, the Bulls
     should not and that is kinda
where their pipe dream ends.

I agree. I just
     rattled off what Vin said Yeah
this show looks like shit.

I could assume it's
     safe, but I don't want to end
up being an ass.

Maybe it isn't
     being a harsh judge, but just
our biology.

I should just man up
     and take the good advice on
this thread. Are you me?

I'd lose around five
     or six pounds of body fat
and be crazy proud.

So, you shoot forty
     more shots, and maybe two or
three of them go in.

FINALLY And no
     stupid slow motion. Winner.
Vicki Vale, seems so.

It's been awhile since
     I've cried. So yeah, it's fine. but,
when do they bacon?

I took her back home
     to my mom so she could be
more comfortable.

You moving through space
     means you are not moving through
time as much. what? huh?

Wow. probably shouldn't
     Thanks! I don't know what I'd do
without your advice!

hopefully u can
     get it before tomorrow
new patch. Excellent!

They aren't aggressive
     usually, but will bite if
you press against them.

It's my time to shine,
     so in elementary school
we had band classes.

I should think that more
     often I graduated
from highschool that year...

That's much more useful
     than anything I've heard from
my school counselors.

Check him out Why don't
     you have your old clothes tailor
to your body type?

I didn't use that word,
     so it doesn't make much sense
to mock me with it.

Men With Penises.
     I'd imagine the same way
we do in the west.

His real issue seems
     to be ball security
when he goes on tilt.

Luckily my dad
     was by her to grab her arm
from doing the deed.

[deleted] What if
     you are all robots and I'm
the only human?

Hey guess who doesn't
     have to deal with those problems?!
MANUAL DRIVERS!

I have the feeling
     he might be the ONLY step
in that direction.

Violence begets
     violence, and solves nothing.
You never knew that?

Absolutely true.
     Slightly less impressive, but
still quite substantial.

You should try Simply
     Lemonade, the fresh juice goes
really well with it!

If only you could
     be sure that the directing
will live up to it.

It's been going on
     for some time and not much has
been done about it.

Although it can be
     fun to put together stuff
without directions.

Why did they care if
     you were waiting for the light
to change? Fuck you, cunt.

[deleted] Good luck
     with that. [deleted] Fuck that.
I'd never do that.

What. The honest fuck.
     Did I just see. Happy cake
day, you cake eater!

Hopefully she's not
     included in the purchase.
[deleted] Hell yes.

If it does, I'll end
     up using it on the one
month gold memberships.

Wow guy.... Why don't you
     go over there and help keep
the dog company?

This. If you would not
     be glad about your boyfriend
doing this to you.

The fact that we are
     having this conversation
should be alarming.

Now lets get this one
     in the books They also play
basketball in here.

It's like if you catch
     your girlfriend cheating on you
and you say "ok.

No, you're just a dick.
     Which doesn't preclude you from
being wrong either.

I put good out there,
     I get good back. I put bad
out there, I get fucked.

I'm also afraid
     I might go insane later
in life. "Don't worry.

Not how fun it is
     to prankster punks when they find
someone to pick on.

I'm willing to bet
     this entire story is
bullshit anyway.

Omg they burn
     in summer, we are talking
playground tin slide hot.

We already knew
     that artificial sweeteners
are worse than sugar.

After gathering
     some stuff he walked out, never
to be seen again.

HEY GUYS THEY MIGHT NOT
     GET THAT HE'S GREEN LIGHT SO LETS
MAKE HIS COSTUME GREEN!

HEY GUYS THEY MIGHT NOT
     GET THAT HE'S IRON SO LET'S
MAKE HIS SUIT IRON!

I'm mainly working,
     being annoyed at people,
and being depressed.

He grows up. He grows
     with all this experience
he has made lately.

First rule of debate.
     It also depends what game
mode you are playing.

I can't stop you from
     that and you can't stop me from
my belief either.

A limit is, well,
     kinda like getting really
close but not quite there.

At some point, you won't
     be touching the wall, but you
might as well be right?

Usually in class
     or from school or even them
coming up to me.

Unless she didn't bathe
     I'm surprised you didn't throw some
acetone in there.

People don't vote based
     on which character actually
would win in a fight.

The violent crazed ones
     need to be kept in a cage
when guests are over.

But yeah, there is no
     face code in that save as far
as I am aware.

Did you see the thread
     about people who've been shot
and how did it feel?

Some people can be
     so shitty and ungrateful.
Edit; adding shit.

But know that you are
     setting yourself very far
back when you play it.

I thought it was cute.
     I wished my brothers worried
about me like that.

I like fat gizmo
     much better, nugget likes far
gizmo better too.

Every. Single. Time.
     I see this girl, she asks if
we are still dating.

She was whiter than
     the tiles of her bathroom floor.
Just imagine that.

If you want to be
     with her then go back to when
you were both happy.

I like them. Well here's
     your ego boost for the day
then, I change my mind.

It's all been posted.
     It's like watching Debbie from
Dexter date Flanders.

Thanks for responding
     Holy crap, I'd kill to get
those types of numbers.

One of the women
     was in her 50s, the other
in her early 20s.

My worry is how
     much will it have changed on current
gen hardware.

I can't imagine
     you coming across rude or
offensive people.

Look. At. Me. I can't
     decipher other women's
allusions *at all*.

I hadn't factored
     in the "this is so bad it's
amazing" factor.

Patients and taking
     your time will serve you well while
popping them back out.

In essence, they were
     the "Apple Store" before there
was an Apple Store.