Reddit Haikus

Party now so by
     the time the playoffs come you'll
have the stamina.

I don't know why, but
     being small and a thief seems
to fit in my book.

....really? [deleted]
     I would play that game so hard,
even if it sucked.

Why would bringing down
     the president, alone, be
our motivation?

I don't care. It's free.
     Just go away. But yet you
knew it the whole time.

What attention dicks.
     FINALLY! A truck i can
tow my spaceship with!

Yet we would spend tax
     dollars locking up the man
who stole a $10K car.

Composting to me
     is quite a lot of effort
for little results.

Unfortunately
     there's no law against rudeness
or being a dick.

Just like every smile
     is beautiful when it's true,
so is every voice!

So where are all these
     abused citizens sitting
in jail for thought crimes?

if i suddenly
     come into any money
i'll hit you up, ha.

If I had the time,
     I'd definitely try out
working out that way.

Doubling the money
     supply *should* double the price
level, *over time.

I'm fairly certain
     he is the only person
in the ward with one.

But what happens if
     Bruce Wayne had entirely
misread Lucius Fox?

It usually has
     people at the counter but
not hanging around.

Sheesh. I know people
     hate Microsoft right now, there's
no debating that.

Isn't that a bit
     like asking why gravity
causes things to fall?

If there was, no one
     would impeach the first colored
president, sadly.

Maybe one day you'll
     realize you should have grabbed those
scholarships too. Ahh.

I happen to live
     on the East coast and we get
paid pretty well here.

I can understand
     why you felt the way you did
prior to cheating.

Looks like just surface
     rust, so you should be ok
once you clean it up.

The chance of death from
     local flora and wildlife
is also doubled.

I am pretty sure
     he is still cutting off all
his leaves as we speak.

He wants to spend all
     his time outside and never
wants to come inside.

I don't know if you
     know all the beer laws and can
elaborate on this.

I would love to see
     more egalitarian
progress and less rape.

They won't hate you, you
     didn't "force" anything, and you
were willing to fail.

Thanks for this. I've had
     sex with a short guy or two.
Never dated one.

It's that it costs 50k
     more to paint it this way than
the standard paint job.

Oh come on. Like you
     can't connect the dots of what
I was trying to say.

Now you're deciding
     what's satisfying to me
or not? Okay then.

In our state that means
     I get the cases opened
up for services.

All you people care
     about is easy karma.
Well tickle me pink.

Plus, the toilet has
     more capacity and is
less likely to clog.

Also, I have no
     really heard any news on
this front from Sony.

I could understand
     that feeling, but I chose her,
just like he chose you.

The new things will give
     you something to talk about.
Congratulations!

I'll make a stencil
     and if you approve, I'll set
something up for you.

No law can be made
     to control those who have no
regard for the law.

Naturally, my friend
     bursts out laughing and asks her
what is she doing.

Literally every
     answer on this would make me
mock that loser. Odd.

I'm so glad I was
     high when I got to that part.
It was magical.

Then they said ok
     u can live in Hong Kong well
give u some money.

"Oh shit, this guy who
     stays away from drugs used our
vernacular wrong.

Being autistic
     doesn't mean you can't function
in society.

Now that I'm hitting
     middle age I understand
that joy is the point.

Plus different foundries
     or whatever made the guns
and have their own stamp.

I have an i7 2600k
     gaming PC, you're preaching
to the choir here.

Plus if there is no
     magic, I don't think he could
kill with his bare hands.

All those guys who ripped
     billions out of the banking
system for themselves?

Pick Republican
     or Democrats and carry
on as usual.

"You're just so tiny"
     I hear this all day... I'm not
even that little.

I wish you the best
     though, and I hope you can find
something that works out!

Does it have to be
     the name of a neighborhood
to be "weird?" Looks great.

Dude, if this becomes
     reality it will be
more than a wet dream.

Wondered if you were
     one of the missionaries
in the area.

Maybe next year he'll
     get that elusive trophy.
Do they distribute?

Each interview I've
     had as a recent college
grad has gone blandly.

You sure about that?
     You're satisfied with that choice?
You don't want freedom?

You don't want freedom?
     Alright... here's your mint chocolate
fucking chip ice cream.

*Technically* these are
     requirements, but these things are
never actually checked.

It's tough when your friends
     go out all the time, but try
to make room for that.

Basically that there
     is time to develop them
in the last 10-20k years.

[deleted] I could
     swear it gets faster each time.
I was right with ya.

My family hardly
     drinks because when we do all
the secrets come out.

Only the problem
     is we are the only ones
there besides the staff.

That game was awesome
     My mouth was hanging open
that entire seen.

Nice metro! Garrets?
     Do you have to spin the props
on quick turnarounds?

One of my cousins
     threw me a pack, and told me
to try to light one.

I want to keep what
     I have so painstakingly
earned under my name.

[deleted] Probably
     late, but I probably would've
named myself Lady.

i ran through every
     level with guns blazing just
killing everyone.

Michelangelo
     Okay no worries. And nope,
definitely not!

They said They cant do
     anything about dog on
dog attacks! **BULLSHIT**!

If a fat guy goes
     swimming naked is it still
called skinny dipping?

I am not holding
     the no used games thing against
Microsoft either.

However, when you
     see that price print, you will no
longer be laughing.

Looks like they managed
     to disappear a whole boat
Who? [deleted] Yeah.

Actually, why are YOU
     promoting YOUR guild here too?
Fuck off already.

Alex Smith Desert
     Ambulance? Sounds familiar.
From anybody.

Ya I can't really
     say I have much knowledge on
the specs of laptops.

If you've seen Johnny
     Mnemonic it was based on
one of short stories.

You need to teach her
     in the art of anarchy.
Ricochet Robots.

It would be a strong
     move to take that star power
from the Knicks like that...

and in my early
     20's, I noticed some friends would
talk behind my back.

Tony Parker sure
     is a fucking terrible
defensive player.

Wow, this guy jus laid
     down some serious trailer
park knowledge Student!

Submit stuff other
     than your own, and comment on
others' submissions.

I could be talking
     out of my ass though so you
might want to research.

Quit correcting me
     everyone and saying I'm
not an atheist.

I kinda wanna
     just give up, but I also
don't. I can't not fight.

Gorgeous! hah. I wish
     people could see it doesn't
need to be that way.

Ok people, who
     are we thinking he is tasked
to assassinate?

Anything over
     1k is high unless this bike
in strong running shape.

You got no excuse!
     LOL HE'S JUST THE BEST.
LIKE FOR EVERYTHING.

I'm going to go
     out on the brave limb (/s) here
and say: Atheism.

Everyone hates them,
     except my spanish teacher,
she likes their coffee.

Figure out what his
     thing is and get him something
related to that.

Jimmy also chose
     the funniest responses,
so there's that as well.

Not sure what he was
     expecting crafting all slots
for multiple stats.

It was great. im not
     pro heat but i hate how much
hate they get Me too.

Also interesting:
     I'd probably have a really
bad time in Japan.

Then she says you're not
     the biggest I've had before
we've ever started.

I had the damn thing
     on the old B8 and never
once knew what it was.

And what do you mean
     "not my ex"? Isn't that who
we're talking about?

Its nerve wracking, but
     can happen in a normal,
healthy pregnancy.

:D I thought I was
     the only one around here
who couldn't stand it.

Baby don't hurt me.
     Every Time Sorry Mr.
Troll. Have a nice night.

Some of the writing
     even seems pretty angry
and vicious also.

I never even
     considered whether or not
guys peed when *they* laughed.

So I know never
     to go there... Yeah I hear ya.
Can't win either way.

Thank you. And that would
     be really annoying if
you couldn't find it.

They both use past price
     action and volume to make
trading decisions.

I was born and raised
     in urban massachusetts.
and I'm latino.

Fuck. Titillating.
     All the excitement made me
forget how to spell.

I disassembled
     the one I have and I'm now
selling the panel.

[deleted] Thank you!
     True, but the cost is not much
more than air cooling.

Uh oh this might get
     ugly At what minute will
heat fans start leaving?

Outside of EM, I'm
     not aware of any brands
that do custom jobs.

basically what im
     saying is i know how you
feel, keep your head up.

Attack the basket
     It does. the house bolton is
known for its cruelty.

I don't really raze
     enough cities to take note.
Thanks for the info.

I can understand
     expressions about the game
in both languages.

I am always here
     if you need someone to talk
to though. I mean it.

Hi Toast! You can skip
     the opiate addiction
and recovery phase.

Why does the vocal
     gravity of the word "rape"
mean so much to you?

So let's stay I want
     at true bypass, analog,
stereo delay.

Hi, I'm interested
     in the too faced romantic
and Smokey palette.

If you already
     have a therapist, discuss
this issue with them.

I generally catch
     and release them since it is
not worth the hassle.

We are not weapons.
     We are not ammunition.
We are not killers.

But I think that needs
     to be your priority.
An offer or more.

The enemies mount
     up fast and the dice rolls can
break your team badly.

There are very few
     countries that as a whole will
defend your data.

We were told it was
     ok to be different, now
no one is normal.

Ended up listening
     to awesome music all night.
Wow that is funny.

This is our biggest
     deficit that we have come
back from all season!

Nice! As long as you
     have carrots and lettuce, you're
good to go. Nice find!

So, the Government
     heavily legislated
gun control on us.

Just whip it out bro.
     They act like they don't like it....
but they love it. WHAT!?

But wouldn't you want
     to be able to detect
new metal as well?

It may seem like porn
     has a stranglehold on you,
but you have control.

I good fitter will
     not use a measuring tape
unless they are new.

Just tell her thanks, but
     you don't really feel that way
about her. That's it.

The secrets and art
     and literature are all
pretty interesting.

The only rare thing
     around here are OPs comments!!!
Uh, no not at all.

This is the PERFECT
     time for protest with July
4th coming up.

[deleted] I came
     here to let everyone know
that this is awesome.

Is he revealing
     anything that we did not
know was going on?

What's your opinion
     on competing currencies?
Shake this frog instead!

Once I start laughing
     and speaking your mind, people
liked me a lot more.

Care to elaborate?
     Totally. [deleted] Don't
have a website yet!

Amen. I love those
     rims on lifted trucks, it's what
I have on my dodge.

Especially when I'm
     feeling Comfortably Numb,
no pun intended.

[deleted] Russia?
     Or any other country
that allows weapons?

I apologize
     for disregarding all need
for commas. [Screen Cap.

They also have no
     term limits because they are
appointed for life.

I don't care though, you
     can live in your little boy
dream world all you want.

posted yesterday
     You bastard I had almost
forgot about it!

Has whole yard to sit
     in, sits in front of other
cat blocking his view.

This is the kinda
     shit I would be proud to tell
my grandkids. Really?

Oh look, they got here
     just in time to watch my plan
go off flawlessly.

It is yours, and you
     get to decide all matters
pertaining to it.

I wish I could move
     back up north too, but you're right,
just not enough work.

Pretty accurate.
     [deleted] Soon..... You fucking
called it LOL!

i could be wrong, or
     i could be right [deleted]
Red Power Ranger!

I think only Sam
     and Jon had them, but I may
be wrong. Thank you, sir!

What unholy rock
     have I been living under
that I didn't know this?

I felt much better
     once I stopped being stupid.
Then, I felt much worse.

And since one eye is
     worse than the other, I can
never mix them up.

[deleted] Then how
     do you put it up for 1G
but sell it for more?

When did you play it?
     [deleted] Indie games are
hardly a focus.

Right now, the keyboard
     is the only way I know
how to get in touch.

*She giggles as you
     tickle her arms* because you
touch yourself at night.

Any chance you could
     point out some that don't like it?
Wow... thank fucking god.

At least Westbrook gives
     you all he's got in every
game [deleted] But...

Sometimes Bruce makes me
     think he can be a really
good baseball player.

It means "myriad",
     but to me it sounds like some
kind of a fungus.

As much as I like
     Rooney, if he wants to go
then just let him go.

What's so gross about
     this is that it's clearly fresh,
and hasn't been washed.

not just for things like
     computers but for things like
washers and dryers.

Pleasant on Coleman
     Blvd which is where those
apartments are too.

Maybe she is trying
     to lure children in... Agreed.
It just doesn't "flow."

The stars at night Are
     big and bright *clap clap clap* Oh
look Megan's alive!

TIL if the oceans
     were made of gasoline, boats
would still need gas tanks.

[deleted] Yeah it's
     definitely the higher
end of the spectrum.

It once may have been,
     but today, in the English
language, it is not.

It's not a problem
     unless the mirror goes months
without being cleaned.

Better ball control
     than anyone in the last
quarter century.

If you don't like what
     you read, down vote the guy who
actually brought it up.

It might also lead
     to adult games, if someone
wanted to make one.

Yes, sir! no offense
     but i think your answer might
not be accurate.

But I think family
     is still family, and might be
all he's got right now.

Plus, what happens if
     I finish pooping before
i finish eating?

Thank god its toilet
     browsing time, because this 'bout
made me shit myself.

Let me consult Dr.
     Freud and I'll get back to you.
[deleted] So brave.

[deleted] And what
     about when the left most lane
is the carpool lane?

If it's apparent
     early on you'll lose and you
concede that's one thing.