Reddit Haikus

As the city grew,
     the city kept the old names,
but moved the boundaries.

They won't die? My god...
     They've discovered the secret
to eternal life!

But neither of us
     is in a particular
hurry to retire.

...sorry I had to.
     In economics this is
called moral hazard.

I think that's probably
     the most popular housing
board for Corvallis.

I know heroine
     is the correct term, I just
don't really like it.

I absolutely
     agree that it would be cruel
to use a live horse.

I went to the ER.
     By then I had put pressure
on it for a while.

I really feel like
     if I saw him again, I'd
let him abuse me.

I just want my friends
     to tell me "yes." It's f'd up.
I'll lose everything.

Choose how much and when
     I want to work. Take a break
whenever I want.

Ultimately though,
     most people are good, the bad
ones just stand out more.

It's kind of a time
     paradox, but so is time
travel in general.

Lets say there are two
     republican candidates
and one Democrat.

You will never be
     happy if you live your life
to appease your wife.

jerk off, tell the girl
     i like that i like her, then
play video games.

I told him it's not
     how much you make, it's how much
you keep and walked out.

Make sure your coils aren't
     touching the base, or the cap
when you screw it on.

Like they have you pick
     out seats when you're standing there
at the ticket booth.

The humming would start,
     then stop for a few seconds,
then begin again.

It's also the "oh
     my god, my phone exploded,
I need a backup!"

You fully elite
     your IS-3, you slap a British
flag on it for 250g.

Otherwise pulling
     the Bastion on your own tends
to be suicide.

Also, pyramid
     scheme doesn't mean it's a scam
for the customers.

I was tricked into
     going to an interview
for Primerica.

If they have nothing
     nice to say, they usually
say nothing at all.

Or been kissed like that.
     I've never driven a car.
Or slept through the night.

Previous poster
     was telling him he should get
penetrated first.

Thanks! [deleted] You
     should just pour it in and see
how people respond.

I just found out, when
     researching trucks, that mine is
called white forest pearl.

Can you elaborate
     on what it is you don't feel
like you can fulfill?

Im not sure its stats
     are much better than the t4
but they are better...

They are both pretty
     good ships and can be had cheap
on the exchange too.

Sometimes evil needs
     to vote for things they don't want
in order to hide.

Then they can rely
     on the good person making
the wrong choice, and hide.

You're just repeating
     yourself without responding
to the point I made.

Yeah I don't get it.
     I won't question it... I just
don't understand it.

"what makes you say that?"
     "I'm not sure I know what you
mean", etc.

This is awesome You're
     great for typing this out Two
More Eggs is awesome.

Slackers will still slack.
     I feel great for both of you,
good luck with your girls!

Don't do what I did.
     Go prepared, go in knowing
what you want. Good luck.

police bust into
     your house without a warrant,
start breaking your shit.

Something soft and pink
     for Mimi and an edgy
cool color for Matt.

Yeah, the nephew (Zack)
     will only give the puppy
back for some kisses.

you totally rock
     the whole natural minimal
makeup vibe. looks good!

I like the response.
     I agree these are all costs
we need to reign in.

Lebron is a beast
     and I had no one who could
stop him on the drive!

An old wives' tale used
     to say it meant someone was
talking about you.

The first angle gets
     blocked by a fan's arm but it's
clear on the replay.

Well see you there soon.
     Always looking for fellow
members in the wild.

Some day people will
     be reading about this time
in a history book.

Now everybody's
     dancing The dance of the dead.
The dance of the dead.

what kinda prices
     would you be looking to get
for what quantities?

*dies for the twelfth time*
     DID I AT LEAST DO BETTER?!
Like most of this sub.

If you want to be
     "specific" like you said, then
you shouldn't either.

It'll have all the steps
     and procedures on the form
when you print it out.

What the fuck did you
     just fucking say about me,
you little hollow?

BUT, I wish people
     were smart enough to stack their
carts in the corral.

Subsidies are used
     to keep unsustainable
businesses alive.

I found that eating
     high one day usually meant
I ate less the next.

In truth, she had been
     cheating on me with her pot
dealer the whole time.

How do these movies
     keep getting made? You look great.
Congratulations!

Is it with epic
     employees or totally
community based?

To know anything
     I wanted to know. They are
both awesome pictures.

I'm sure if you make
     something amazing no one
would not vote for it.

At least where I live,
     the responsibility
falls on the vendor.

Try being female
     and never having any
functional pockets!!

Even after you
     fix all the holes, nobody's
going to like it.

Thanks! I haven't been
     in those options in some time,
so I never knew.

How long can I keep
     this dough refrigerated
before cooking it?

Or maybe because
     he just copied the title
from the article?

I think he's gotta
     drop out soon after the next
round of primaries.

Or been kissed like that.
     I've never driven a car.
Or slept through the night.

The Monorail." Quite
     possibly the best Simpsons
episode ever.

That I think is what
     the real take away should be
from this video.

Its an unending
     shit stream, I open my game
up selectively.

You both have input,
     she can veto and you can
get on with your life.

It only came out
     just weeks ago, I highly
doubt there's any made.

it almost sounds like
     you're saying you move faster
than the speed of light.

That includes taking
     my profits to help them get
professional help.

No, you got the brand
     new cases that needs to buy
keys for their profit.

If anyone lives
     in LA, we can have weekly
parties at my place.

I come back every
     now and then to see if it's
toned down, ya got me!

My condolences
     OP... I want to get a girl
like spiderman did.

People aren't dying
     in bars anyway, they are
dying in the streets.

Lost several hundred
     dollars of equipment, but
that can be replaced.

what time did this drop...
     want to know how many hours
left if possible?

Now the question is
     whether the new government
will continue this.

What about the plan
     for those of us already
in soul crushing debt?

That the Welsh shag sheep
     and I don't want to see it.
Which bootleg release?

Ozzie is a pink
     ostrich from an old show Hey
Hey It's Saturday'.

I've given this thought.
     Taskmaster can replicate
anything he sees.

Then, once the comfort
     things are taken care of, start
funding shit I like.

I'm hoping to get
     the upper deck installed, then
start putting walls in.

These colleges can
     only accept a finite
amount of people.

A country that still
     has HUGE gender gaps and needs
this movement alive?

So I just kinda
     world hop so I can avoid
their pyramid scheme.

A marriage that was
     already on the rocks is
no place for a kid.

I suck at online
     dating and first impressions,
I'm sure you do too.

Keep up the good work
     Critical! Everything is
on fire! Lil Wayne eats.

I know how people
     increase testosterone, but
how do you lose it?

They are sold here, but
     not many people use them
No problem. Good luck!

She *knew* her mother
     *and* her father, and nothing
can take that away.

Yes and yes. I just
     use a regular oven,
but a pizza stone.

I worked Ladies Wear,
     Intimates, Accessories,
men's Wear and Infants.

I'm going to add
     everyone that has replied
and open my gates.

Enjoy your weekend!
     Are these ones the good tall ones
or the bad tall ones?

Consider: is God
     slicing and dicing children,
or is it humans?

Would be curious
     to find out if anyone
else has any tips.

If so let me know
     how you did it please, I would
appreciate it.

Fuck that I'll hang on
     til the bitter end, I love
this country too much.

TIL Minnesotans
     suck at naming things when their
first choice is taken.

He is. I like his
     passion and the fact he can
ask the hard questions.

Life literally could
     not exist if entropy
was not increasing.

She goes, or you go.
     Also please show him this thread
so he can read this.

YOU don't get to choose
     whether your wife sticks around.
You should be groveling.

(The thought of forcing
     everyone to go fulltime
before hormones...... ugh.

I like to ask them
     to morally justify
that and watch them squirm.

Anyways, for some
     reason I assumed op had
work experience.

That was last Thursday.
     We have a very healthy
and big baby now.

They went bankrupt here
     in Canada. Real shame too.
How did you do it?

They're essentially
     just playing extreme dress up
at least in my eyes.

Don't risk it. And don't
     expect that they will let you
on a field with it.

Cory in the House.
     That's infinitely better
than my area.

You are not alone,
     neither is your friend, were all
in this together.

That's where we vent all
     the shit too weird for real shows!
[deleted] Same here.

Gentrification
     *has* taken *parts* of Harlem,
but not all of it.

[deleted] It sounds
     like no matter what game you
play, you hit the wall.

Make sure to ping her,
     especially if it turns out
to be a rogue ad.

For one thing, you need
     physical and mental health
care you can't afford.

I realize it is
     incredibly hard but you
need your mom for this.

When someone doesn't
     pay the rent my family does
not get what they need.

It'll be even more
     hilarious if it weren't
so tragic for them.

I don't want their foot
     in my door, I want to be
left alone. Looks good!

How dare you act like
     I did not do anything
to try and help him.

I just need to find
     someone willing to be stabbed
with needles a lot.

It happens to me
     often enough that I just
kind of go with it.

It's under my desk
     and i don't want to scuff up
the wall with my shoes.

It doesn't really
     tell me anything about
you and who you are.

But those days are gone
     and what is left of them lies
in my mother's tomb.

Religious scholar
     over here missed the lecture
on faith. i want proof.

Most welders I've talked
     to say they hardly ever
actually walk the cup.

Its when you don't know
     the area you're in or
about rip currents.

Thanks man, that really
     means a lot What items are
on the TB set?

Trumps policies are
     so much further from Bernie's
than Hillary's are.

I just hope I'm not
     past the point of no return.
Thanks for your input.

No but they do are
     she is seen as the biggest
bad ass on the block.

They may provide some
     relief until you can get
to to the doctor.

That's the *only* way
     the Bookstore can make any
money on textbooks.

Your understanding
     about how capital gains
tax works is correct.

It's not like Bernie
     gets to sign whatever plan
he wants into law.

I've never figured
     out how people can do things
back to back all day.

He can't control that.
     The best he can do is point
out players he'd like.

I hope this weeds out
     all of the emotionally
entitled people.

Susan: Now... tell me...
     Death: What would have happened if
you hadn't saved him?

Some more than others.
     But don't treat the dude like he's
the fucking devil.

The little hook on
     the bottom looks like it would
catch your hand also.

Many girls who are
     thin but not fit have it, but
that's not why it's there.

Everybody is
     different on how long it will
stay in your system.

I've got one of those
     laying around already.
How social are you?

I used to listen
     to a bit of everything,
but mostly metal.

The European
     Social Democracies are
fairly successful.

(This question is brought
     up because both are playing
lights out in the AHL).

This question has been
     bugging me for a while now.
[deleted] They are?

Tea bagging is trying
     to make the other person
feel bad or get mad.

ITS JUST A WAR BRO
     All up front I'm not sure if
I would go that far.

Forgetting these points
     are almost definitely
why it was removed.

That sounds true. But there's
     no such 'thing' as any thing,
it's all in your mind.

Don't do it to her.
     You made decisions that led
to where you are now.

As someone else said,
     they are there to help you, not
get you arrested.

Makes that a whole lot
     easier, though the super
is still kinda hard.

Why wait till tribal
     to talk about who you want
to vote out? Stupid..

All Meg has ever
     wanted is to get away.
Away from high school.

It's scary sometimes.
     But you have to follow through
until they back down.

What about condoms.
     I sure as hell hope you can
afford some condoms.

Cool cool beans beans cool
     beans I've heard once you go black,
you never go back.

Nut up and protect
     your fellow man from falling
into the same trap.

Plus, if you just keep
     circling they eventually
seem to get confused...

What the fuck is this?
     How much did you pay? I need
to grab one today.

One time I woke up
     and felt a limb on my chest
(single at the time).

I literally just
     explained this to the seven
year old I nanny.

Your vows themselves are
     not the legally binding
part of a marriage.

Or maybe he's just
     blessed with a golden colon...
[removed] I missed them.

I'd much rather just
     get rid of it, ESPECIALLY
if it weights a lot.

On my 1280x800 laptop
     the current colors are very
easy to pick out.

Edit: Don't worry
     about it being like North
Florida. It's not.

She is all substance
     and no style while Trump is all
style and no substance.

And that Kay may wind
     up having to do the same
with this other girl.

Ty for sharing that.
     I wish I could learn to play
jazz on piano.

I wanted to yell
     I CAN HEAR YOU IM AWAKE,
but nothing came out.

Even now, it's more
     about asking to see if
the money is there.

I didn't buy my cards
     as a "retirement fund".
I bought them to PLAY.

Sounds like what I go
     through when I wake up at night
with low blood sugar.

I love the scene where
     he discovers the armor.
Very magical!

Maybe he'd be forced
     to actually abandon what
he couldn't carry?

It depends on *why*
     you are having the mood swings.
[deleted] Larkin?

I had to let go
     and allow the ship to sink.
And it will, one day.

While the next family
     gathering they talk about
how fun the boat was).

While my memory
     is far from perfect, it's far
better than average.

Even people who
     are always obviously
right, such as myself!

I woke up, saw what
     was happening, said, "fuck it" closed
my eyes and passed out.